Reeva Steenkamp laid to rest, Oscar Pistorius loses early wickets
Posted: February 20, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News, Sports | Tags: dunno, gun, love, lovely, oscar pistoffius, oscar pistorius, reeva steenkamp, tragic, wierd Leave a comment
Is it more offensive to show a woman looking hot while baking or looking hot while wearing a bikini?
Look, I’m sorry – I can’t stop reading about this. There doesn’t seem to be anything else happening anyway. It’s a lot more interesting than what Ed Milliband is doing – whatever it is that he does.
Oscar Pistorius’ bail hearing began today. If this whole thing were a test match, you could say he probably had a good day today; won the afternoon and evening session after losing four wickets before lunch. But there’s a long way to go to save the match, let alone rescue the series.
Meanwhile, his ‘Baba’ was being laid to rest. That got the limited, respectful coverage it deserved. God bless her.
Anyway, here’s some guff:
Apropos of nothing, but I have never seen a square toilet seat before.
– Nigel, Sydney, 19/2/2013 23:18
That is truly a wonder.
Thank God for trial by jury. Let justice be served in court and not through the media.
– peaxhy, London, 19/2/2013 23:16
Errm, I think you may be disappointed. Apparently, they haven’t used juries in SA since the mid-90s – it was just getting too difficult to find 12 people who weren’t racist. True story.
Surely it won’t be that difficult for forensics to determine whether she was using the toilet or hiding in there.
– Louise, WIrral, 19/2/2013 23:07
I wouldn’t have thought that would take an expert of any kind.
Not sure who I am most disgusted at currently. The Mail for printing these pictures or me for gawking at them???
– atwbaker, Exeter, 19/2/2013 22:55
Yup.
So upset xxx RIP Reeva xx
– lexi, London, 19/2/2013 20:57
Oh, stop it.
I am very very confused.
– groundhog, Glasgow, United Kingdom, 19/2/2013 20:56
Hmm.
So horrific, a corner bath.
– Wakeup, London, 19/2/2013 19:02
Amusing and yet still a massive prick.
How are these photos chilling? It’s just a normal bathroom
– Sierra, Surrey, 19/2/2013 18:45
Congratulations – you pass the psychopath test!
The heights of the shots would be different if the legs were on or off. If she was using the bathroom and not hiding in there, then there should be evidence in the toliet
– Janesmithhk, Chrustchurch, 19/2/2013 18:42
This guy gets it – answer that question and the whole situation will be much clearer.
I’d hit it… but never with a cricket bat.
Super-human Oscar Pistorius Becomes Oscar Pistoffius, Mows Down Girlfriend, Allegedly
Posted: February 14, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News, Sports | Tags: Daily Mail, FHM, girlfriend, guns, murder, olympics, oscar pistoffius, oscar pistorius, paralympics, reeva steenkamp, shooting, south africa Leave a comment
If you have a problem with this picture, tell the Mail.
The body of Reeva Steenkamp, unfortunate girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – of hitherto inspiration-to-everyone legless Olympian Oscar Pistorius, was probably still warm when the UK press started moralising about this unintended, accidental tragedy of South African gun culture.
Except, as the facts began to emerge not long after, there wasn’t a lot that sounded accidental about the incident. Everybody fell for the story, but only the Daily Mail – to use a completely random analogy – decided to ‘shoot first and ask questions later’ by spraying its front page with articles on the story; riddling those stories with suggestive pictures of the late La Steenkamp; and oozing grey matter and haemorrhaging idiocy all over the comments ‘opened’ for these articles. Spunk.
Ok, so she was shot four times in the head, chest and arm – anyway you slice that, it doesn’t quite jive with the intruder story. But that’s not for us to judge; at the Mail it is always ‘Innocent until proven… oh, look it’s a Middle-Aged woman with Cellulite Wearing a Ill-Judged Bikini!!!!!’.
Blade Runner Oscar Pistorius charged with murder after ‘he accidentally shot dead his model girlfriend at his luxury South Africa home when he mistook her for an intruder’
– By Martin Robinson, Simon Tomlinson and Dan Newling In Cape Town, the Daily Mail
This is almost has disheartening as Lance Armstrong.
– alistz, vizio oh, 14/2/2013 15:16
Discuss. Seriously…. discuss. You could do a Phd on that.
This is why I tell people to use so-called assault weapons for home protection. You have room to easily mount a flashlight on them. That way you can be certain of target.
– whtnationalist, Marshalltown Iowa USA, 14/2/2013 15:15
Ahhhhh… silly goose. This never would’ve happened if he’d just used assault weapons instead.
Maybe she made fun of him.
– John Jones, Roswell, United States, 14/2/2013 14:43
Oh well, in that case, bitch had it coming.
what a tagedy!
– bebuxxu, Rome, Italy, 14/2/2013 14:16
ANOTHER NAIL FOR THE DEATH OF THE 2ND AMMENDMENT.
– SHADOW100, SAN MARCOS, 14/2/2013 14:07
Errrrrmmm…
This tragedy is the result of two young people both making a fatal mistake at the same time. She surely knew he was well-armed and feared break-ins, and she had to be well aware of the violent nature of life in SA. But in her excitement about the surprise, she didn’t think about that. He should have known not to shoot first before ascertaining the identity of the intruder … all he had to do was yell out, “Who is it?” and “I am armed and will shoot you!” But in his undoubted state of fear, he didn’t think about that either. Result? A devastating accident. When he gave her the key to his place, he should have told her the rules … no surprises & always announce yourself first. If he had been 40 instead of 26, I think he’d have been mature and wise enough to have thought of that. I’m willing to bet this was simply a tragic accident.
– WagTheDog, Vegas USSA, United States, 14/2/2013 13:44
I suspect this man would try to acquit himself of rape by arguing that the plaintiff was wearing a short skirt and ‘whorey make up.’
OMG! I mean, really, just OMG!
– Devil Cat, London, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 13:32
Die.
I’m South African. Yip, it’s not a country for sissies.
– The Oppinionated One, Mpumalanga, 14/2/2013 13:31
Never thought that for a second, Opp.
So sad – two lives ruined, least we forget their families. No doubt Hollywood will be jumping on the band wagon and looking to turn his life story into a film.
– Carrie, London, 14/2/2013 13:30
Really? Have you not seen OJ Simpson, the Movie? No? I wonder why not.
So sad. This guy had so much going for him…
– Samantha, Middle England, 14/2/2013
Yeah, and she had a pulse.
I don’t understand why previous ‘domestic’ incidents are being thrown into the mix. People have arguments, they can get heated, police are sometimes called to diffuse a situation? Nobody is perfect! Doesn’t mean people are about to start shooting each other? Facts before accusation….and only the police can deal with those!
– Sher x, Swansea, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 12:35
Christmas must be wild round yours.
The same thing almost happened to me, but in my case, I do not own a gun so I was glad. Heard some noises in the kitchen at 3 am. Cracked open the bedroom door and I could see a human silhouette standing still. My heart raced. Grabbed a Rambo knife that I had and was ready to confront intruder when I realized, what if it is my wife? Sure enough her side of the bed was empty, so I turned on the lights and there she was, staring at our cat through the window. Also scary is that I had set up life insurance policies through a employment benefits meeting the day before! So I would have had a clear motive under the eyes of the police had I had a gun and decided to use it blindly. Moral of this story, never shoot at somebody for self defense reasons before knowing his/her identity and do it after announcing yourself. What a tragedy, I feel sorry for both. However it sounds like overkill to me, no need to pump a body full of bullets.
– somewhereintheus, somewhereintheus, 14/2/2013 12:29
Whaaaaa?
Oh my darling Oscar!!!!! i am so so sorry!! i love you so much! i am really sorry about your loss and trauma. Please let the justice system understand this tragedy and work well for you. I am heartbroken
– BB, glasgow, 14/2/2013 10:51
Your loss?
this is so terribly sad xxxx
– GeordieEastender, East London, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 11:17
Thanks, mwuh.
Absolutely heartbreaking, so tragic xxx
– Miss_Kinks, Wiltshire, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:58
Yes, mwuh mwuh mwuh.
This is just so awful 😦 I pray for him and the girls family at this very sad, tragic time xxx
– MrsHogg, Durham, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:44
As do I. Mwuh mwuh mwuh.
How very tragic … I think living with the fact that you accidentally killed your beloved is punishment enough. I don’t see how prosecution would be in the public interest. Sending best wishes to all x
Thanks. Love to Mum and Dad. Mwuh.
How awful! Rip x
– RoyalEngrWife1466, Bolton, Uk, 14/2/2013 10:16
Rip Mwuh.
…Seriously, why do people do this? is it a new thing? Are some people so terminally stupid that they’ve lost the ability to distinguish online comments sections from text messages?
From law graduate to reality TV star: FHM model Reeva Steenkamp was about to ‘explode into the media’, claims devastated agent
– By Simon Tomlinson, the Daily Mail
I’m not sure what’s more distasteful about this headline – is it the ‘explode into the media’ bit (explode all over more like, hurrrr) or is it ‘devastated agent’? You’re an agent. Your job is to make money by exploiting people. Family cares? Dunno. Friends care? Dunno. Apparently the guy that was going to make money out of her cares. He was the first one on the phone. He’s devastated.
She was too good for him.
– Joe, Belfast, 14/2/2013 13:26
*click* Yah Sistah!
How can someone be “allegedly shot dead”? She is either alive or she is dead. She was either shot or she was not. The word allegedly is so incorrectly used here, it detracts from the sad story.
– Kate, Sydney, 14/2/2013 12:29
That’s a surprisingly good point.
Oh dear how sad, I bet he is mortified. If it was a genuine mistake I am sure the jury will find him innocent of murder and realise it was unintentional manslaughter. Poor guy. Crumbs, Valentine’s Day will never be the same for him.
– Gorgeous Brunette, Liskeard, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:51
Valentine’s day will never be the same for him?!
****Bonus Update****
Well, the Mail has continued to open its Pistorius articles to inappropriate, ill-informed and irresponsible comments. On the other hand, the Guardian, the Independent and the unattractive, unloved women of Twitter have sunk even lower by cheapening the whole thing by focusing on the Sun’s perfectly legitimate choice of front page photo. As though it’s somehow disrespectful. I’m sure when Wayne Rooney dies, the papers will illustrate it with a picture of him playing football; when Brigitte Bardot dies, it’ll be a picture of her acting and/or arguing with a cat; when these people die, the Made-Up Fantasy Times, ‘People who were rubbish’ column will be illustrated with a picture of someone physically attached to a sofa, cramming Doritos into their mouth with their disgustingly sausage-like orange cheesy fingers, while ineffectually ‘cutting’ themselves with a blade so blunt it couldn’t possibly do anything more than cosmetic damage.
It was too annoying to wade through those comments, so back to the Daily Mail for some healthy idiocy…
Blade Runner in the dock: Oscar Pistorius holds his head in his hands as he is formally charged with murdering his model girlfriend who ‘was shot four times through bathroom door’ at his home
Why is he crying?
– Sandy Brown, London, 15/2/2013 16:37
Congratulations – you pass the psychopath test!
I fail to see what he would have gained through a planned murder of this poor woman – he has no money concerns and if he no longer wanted to go out with her he would have had no difficulty in ending the relationship. I feel the fact he shot through the door suggests he thought it was an intruder but obviously until the police investigation is closed we can only speculate as to what went on.
– kate, paris, France, 15/2/2013 16:22
Hmmm, yes – murder is only a practical option when in financial difficulties or when you’re just too embarrassed to break up with someone.
Nice to see his brother smiling with another relative. Meanwhile a young woman is dead. This whole story is so shocking.
– Lily, London – UK, 15/2/2013 16:05
Bastard! And with a relative too… pffft!
95% of the comments here are DISGUSTING. Why is everyone treating Pistorius like the victim? A young girls body LAYS COLD. A mother and father have to bury their child.
– Cherry, london, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 15:58
Lays cold what?
Let us not forget that SHE IS DEAD!!
– Sassy Lassy, Great Britain, 15/2/2013 15:33
YAY!
It was an accident. They should let him go
– Floridian, USA, United States, 15/2/2013 15:29
Oh right, there we go. Everybody go home now, that’s it. All over, nothing to see here.
 My sympathies to the poor victim and her family… Poor woman never got to get married, have babies or get old…such a waste all round. Rip xxx
– Lorraine, ex-pat, 15/2/2013 15:09
Mwuh mwuh mwuh…. rip.
What the hell could have happened there?!? It’s just crazy!!!
– JFK, South of Spain, Spain, 15/2/2013 14:44
How can you be South of Spain and yet still in Spain?! It’s just crazy!!!
This is why you never shoot at an unidentified target. This is one of the basic 4 rules of gun safety: Always be sure of your target and what is beyond it. Never aim at anything you are not willing to destroy. Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on target. Treat all guns as loaded. Had he followed these simple rules this would not have happened. That is proper gun control.
– klingon00, Columbus, 15/2/2013 14:26
Ah right, thanks for clearing that up Klingon. You see, I’d thought that the problem was having guns in your bedroom; I hadn’t realised that really the problem was just the fact that someone didn’t remember some stupid half-baked code about what you should and shouldn’t do with a gun. That was the problem! Education.
Have you never locked yourself in the bathroom to escape someone? I’ve had to. I’m NOT saying that’s what happened but the amount of people proclaiming him innocent based on the fact she was in the bathroom!!!
– Nishuo, outside your window, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 14:10
I just looked outside my window – bet you did too.
 Shot 4 x through bathroom door – then that surely shows that a) He didnt see her and b) he didnt know it was her. This sounds like a he really did mistake her for an intruder?
– Tim-nice-but-dim, London, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 14:02
‘Roight Francois – wie’re gonna do this berglaree job, bit wince wi git in, Io’ve gotta pinch a wickid loaf.’
The South African authorities are a disgrace. Why on earth are they treating Oscar like a common criminal. He is a global icon and should not be paraded like a murderer. This was clearly a tragic but honest mistake. He should be released immediately and the Police should focus on the real criminals in the townships.
– Adam, London, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 13:52
Can’t be serious.
Miriam Margolyes leaves UK for Australia
Posted: February 3, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity | Tags: Australia, brigitte bardot, entertainment, guardian, Miriam Margolyes, News, TV, UK, Victoria Coren Leave a comment
So you’re a distinguished elder stateswoman of the UK thespian scene. But the calls haven’t been coming in of late and the lime light is starting to dim a little.
What do you do?
Well if you’re actor Miriam Margolyes you do a Gérard Depardieu / Brigitte Bardot number and do-one abroad – specifically, Australia. In the process of emigrating, you denounce the nation that spawned you as a class-ridden cesspool, filled with scum bags who wouldn’t look out of place being ventilated by Liam Neeson in Taken 3.
As one can imagine, this incurred the wrath of the forums.
First a comment from Richard, a troll on the Daily Mail:
Richard, Torrevieja, 28/1/2013 11:09
Who?
Good question. I had to Google Miriam Margolyes myself, after spotting the story had drawn over a thousand comments on the Guardian.
Answer: Actress who appeared in Blackadder.
So how did Margolyes herself describe her new found status:
‘I think I should be described as ‘bi’- not bisexual because I’m not – I’m gay – but ‘binational’ because I retain British nationality and I add to it being Australian, which is like having your cake and eating it.’
And then every other cake in the bakery.
Five reasons to leave Britain
– Victoria Coren, The Guardian
Depressingly, quite a few comments focussed on Coren’s marriage to comedian and fellow columnist David Mitchell.
These came in two flavours: ‘You’re not David Mitchell. I like David Mitchell … I’m secretly afraid of women’ and ‘Did David Mitchell teach you how to write?’. If these passive-aggresive sexist comments had a designer fragrance associated with them, it would probably be called Julian.
Example:
Cussutduck 03 February 2013 2:22pm
Is she trying to be funny like David? David is funny. Where’s he then?
I think this country is pony because it calls itself a member of Europe but none of us can go to mainland Europe without paying quite a lot of money. I would rather live in mainland Europe and feel properly European, or not have to pay all that much to go there.
That’s not meant to be funny.
I hear Belarus is cheap this time of year.
CityGardens 03 February 2013 5:43pm
Earlier today, at 11.34am, I posted a very brief, one-sentence comment here stating simply that I found Victoria Coren’s article superficial and trite and not worthy of The Guardian. My comment received half a dozen recommends . . . and it has now been removed, to be replaced by “This comment has been removed by a moderator.”
Is this the liberal, left-leaning, honest-talking Guardian . . . or a paper now emulating the organs of the Third Reich?
Shame on you, Idiot Guardian Moderator! Shame on you!
An act of moderation causes one mouth-breather to compare a leading investigative newspaper with one of the architects of National Socialism.
Nadia Di Martino 03 February 2013 5:29pm
Five? Only five? I have at least 5 million reasons to give you on why I left Britain. If anybody want to hear them here I am.
I suspect that the five million reasons are actually five million signatories to have this poster removed from the UK.
martinusher 03 February 2013 4:58pm
The depressing thing about modern England is discovering that historically its the norm. Those of us who were born baby boomers, the post WW2 generation, were brought up in a false world, a place which was pretty good and apparently likely to get better.
[More of this kind of ‘insight’ before…]
As for me, I legged it. Most other societies wouldn’t stand for the kind of government that rules England, one that has absolutely no interest in the welfare of its citizens (sorry, “subjects”). That doesn’t mean that everywhere else is better (and the indomitable English character born of putting up with this BS is still very much in evidence) but at least you get a chance.
I blame it on 1066 myself….
I’m sure the people of, say, all the failed states in the world, wouldn’t mind giving the coalition a shot.
monkey999Â 03 February 2013 2:08pm
I left Britain because I couldn’t stand it about 15 years ago. I came back last year because I couldn’t stand the other country I was living in.
Wherever you go, there you are. Please just learn to stand yourself.
Hehe. You can’t emigrate from yourself: If you were a tool in one country, you’re still going to be a tool in another country.
ozzydave 03 February 2013 12:19pm
been saying it on here for years….get the hell out of dodge. anything short of that is child abuse. yeah, oz has got its faults, but it’s nothing that a decent salary won’t cure. freeeeeedom!
Winner of the hyperbolic comment of the day award! If your not gone in the next sixty seconds, well you might as well be a child molester.
TomReeve 03 February 2013 11:52am
Oh, poor Victoria – are you (privately educated/Oxford graduate), your husband (privately educated/Cambridge graduate) and your friends (mostly privately educated/Oxbridge graduates) sick and tired of hearing about the class system? Does it not seem odd to you that a disproportionately high number of the top jobs in the UK (including journalism, comedy and the arts) are held by people who wear an old school tie?
Odd, but for all your satirical, witty and populist commentary, we don’t hear you commenting about that, do we? I wonder why…
These kind of inferiority-complex comments litter The Guardian’s comment section like half-read Don DeLillo novels in the flats of North London.
Smoore1Â 03 February 2013 10:15am
The worst things about the UK are
1 To many foreigners
2 The Tory party
3 Political correctness
4 Bean counters masquerading as management
chillisauce 03 February 2013 10:21am
I presume you mean ‘two many foreigners…’
‘W’ is seven characters away from ‘O’ on the keyboard.
Actress Miriam blasts English class system as she becomes an Australian citizen
– By ALASDAIR GLENNIE, The Mail
Jordi, Camden, United Kingdom, 28/1/2013
She’s a very nice person and a brilliant actress, good luck to her, I’d leave this country too if I could, it’s too full of spongers and moaners.
A meta moan?
Ben, Wolverhampton, 28/1/2013 12:17
i don’t care, she’s not a nice lady.
What did she do to Ben? Not return his football when he kicked it into her garden?
shirley1919, brentwood, 28/1/2013 15:17
i sincerely hope she is is not receiving a pension from the UK
That’s just cold.
Lesbian actress Miriam Margolyes becomes Aussie citizen
– Joe Morgan, Gay  Star News
Maybe we should all take note of Terry’s comment on Gay Star News:
Terry Stussy
You’re all just Hateful. This does not affect you in the least. Wish her well and move on.
Fawlty Towers BBC Race Row
Posted: January 27, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News | Tags: bbc, censorship, Fawlry towers, Racism, TV Leave a comment
The BBC found itself in yet another ‘damned if they do, damned if they don’t’ situation this week when they chose to retrospectively censor an episode of Fawlty Towers. The scene in question involved ‘the Major’ using the N-word. It’s well written and quite funny – in context.
On the other hand, perhaps we should accept the fact that it’s not acceptable to use the N-word pre-watershed.
To be fair to the swivel-eyed knee-jerkers commenting at the Daily Mail, the paper cunningly buried the text of the article in a sea of youtube videos of John Cleese doing his Hitler impression; so, some misunderstanding overreaction is to be expected.
The Mail
Don’t mention the ***: Censorship row as BBC cuts the Major’s ‘racist’ lines from classic Fawlty Towers episode
BBC . Brussels Broadcasting Company .
– bill, Lowestoft, 23/1/2013 15:56
And we have to even pay to be brain washed! The British Brainwashing Company it to dangerous now it has to be folded up for the sake of freedom and Democracy!
– john, whatswasafineplacetolive, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 12:11
Big Brother Corporation is watching you!
– Anti-Anti, Huntingdon, 23/1/2013 7:44
Isn’t that on Channel Five now?
The Bolshevik Broadcasting Company strikes again and undermines one of the greatest shows it ever produced. What next changing the name of The One Show in case numbers 2 to 10 get upset?
– Brian, Broken Britain, 23/1/2013 9:43
There must be someone in the BBC whole went through the programme before transmission to make sure “they” would not be offended. How very Patronising and Condescending. The true meaning of PC.
– Mike, London, 23/1/2013 9:04
So we can no longer laugh at something that was made 38 years ago! All of this politically correct and anti-discrimination is gone way too far, it’s an absolute joke. Other countries must laugh at us thanks to the Bye Bye Civilisation (BBC) censoring anything that one person might find offensive. I thought they stopped censoring theatres in 1968, surely TV and radio wouldn’t be fixed soon after?
– DisaterX, Bedford, 23/1/2013 0:27
And the rest of it:
The Beeb is like a Greek guy who has suddenly found pink toilet paper in his toilet.
– Davewhoever, Gloucester, 23/1/2013 0:38
Admittedly, I don’t know too many Greek guys, but I have absolutely no idea what this means.
…I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
– pragmatica, Manchester, UK, 23/1/2013 1:27
A line from an episode of Fawlty Towers got cut… Goodbye cruel world!
Ahh , the days when we could just enjoy a good comedy , i’ll bet even the Germans laugh at this one .
– Derek, London, 23/1/2013 1:53
Hmmmm
Ridiculous to airbrush a comedy show. Just listen to the lyrics of most rap – hip hop music today!!!
– Viv, London, 23/1/2013 5:22
I think you’re missing a crucial nuance…
Soe people are racist……………Get over it.
– Peter Pan, Neverland, 23/1/2013 6:42
Pfft, yeah – racism, get over it.
Ridiculous. Next Shakespeare will be edited. What’s wrong with people.
– me, here, 23/1/2013 6:44
Next?! This is such a common phenomenon that it has its own verb.
A few years ago in Preston I was selling some small blackboards for children. Allt he white people came to me asking how much are the chalkboards. All and I mean all my Asian customers asked me how much were my blackboards.
– PaulDavis, York UK, 23/1/2013 9:07
Haha… what?
Perhaps Josef Goebbels is alive and well as DG of the BBC!
– Citizen Smith, Billericay, 23/1/2013 9:18
The person responsible for cutting a line from Fawlty Towers is comparable to the architect of the Holocaust.
The BBC is the biggest fascist organisation in this country. If you dont follow their ‘PC’ agenda your ridiculded.
Ridiculdous!- swanseajosh86, Swansea, Algeria, 23/1/2013 9:57
The BBC did the same edit nonsense with an episode of “Some Mothers Do Ave Em” Frank Spencer in the 3rd series during the moving house scene where Frank falls out of the back of removal van and into a vat of boiling tar by the side of the road, where a Indian man offers to help Frank out of the tar, Frank replies “White man thanks Indian brother” then the Indian man offers Frank a cup of tea, all this was oddly edited out on DVD versions as Franks comments & conversation in the scene were all polite, and friendly so why was it edited ??
– birdland, Watford, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 10:03
I guess you had to see it.
Britain HAS REALLY gone down the drain! Now just WHY, WHY, WHY should we change OUR way of life just to please a minority group. Our fathers who perished FOR NOTHING in 2 world wars would turn in their graves!!!!!!!!! R.I.P. “britain”
– True British Patriot, London, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 10:14
Uhhh… it’s a line from a 38-year-old sitcom.
Dont know if you have noticed but eastenders don’t even swear anymore. so unrealistic
– Zoe, Hull, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 10:24
Heh.
Reminds me of the defacing of the Greek and Roman statues! Pitiful bigotry! In the same spirit erase everything about slavery from history books???
– Mario Kassianides, London, 23/1/2013 10:48
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Royal Academy – I present to you – Michaelangelo’s ‘The Germans’!
They did the same with FRIENDS before it was handed over to Comedy Central the people at E4 cut out all the gags n censored everythin to the point that nothing made sense
– mrs.b, lancs, 23/1/2013 11:37
Oh, so that’s why it’s not funny.
I phoned the BBC to complain and was told by the chap who took the call not to use language like that !!!!!!! you really couldnt make .
– Michael the un pc, sittingbourne, 23/1/2013 11:41
Haha, what a conversation that must’ve been.
Q: What is the difference between the BBC censoring historic screenplay and Hitler burning history books? A: No difference, they’re both examples of depraved minds seeking to impose their minds on society, just because they can. We fought a war to stop that kind of behaviour and of all the likely suspects, who’d have thought the BBC – Voice of freedom and truth – would be the ones to step up and assume the mantle of a dictator wanting to change history!
– Gwyn, Newport, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 12:31
Uhhh… A: BBC is Hitler?
I have met quite a few German people over the last few years – a sure ice-breaker is “Don’t mention the War – I did it once but I think I got away with it”. Never fails to get a laugh.
– Frank, Wirral, 23/1/2013 14:02
Really?
How can it be racist when Germans and British people are both white?
– Mary, Montreal, 23/1/2013 15:33
Germans are slightly whiter.
Will please the readers of the Guardian
– Psd, Hants, 23/1/2013 7:04
Will it? Let’s find out:
Fawlty Towers isn’t racist. Major Gowen is.
To make a show of the fact that you know what the Major’s surname is is as bad as being a terrble racist.
Our country sucks now, you can’t say anything without making someone cry. And since we have the internet, they let everyone know that they’re crying about it.
Lame. They’ve even made the internet a rubbish place to be.
Beautiful. Perfect
HappyValley, 23 January 2013 5:12pm
In Spain they made him [Manuel] into an Italian
If that’s true, that’s hilarious.
loftytom, 23 January 2013 5:51pm
Erm, Manuel was a Catalan
“I come from Barcelona”
Piss off.
Even when I was at stiff-upper-lip public school, we were very nearly (and not quite) allowed to use the word “nigger” in a sentence as long as it was part of a quote. That was mid-70s!
How can you very nearly use a word?
FiniteMonkey, 23 January 2013 5:42pm
Possibly, although it didn’t stop the Beeb from wonderfully showing the full opening titles to last week’s teatime episode, complete with Flowery Twats sign (which I still honestly find the funniest thing from all 12 brilliant episodes) to what seems like absolutely no complaints whatsover 🙂
Hehe, yeah.
Over at the Telegraph
Why can’t we laugh at the old jokes any more?
A ‘racist’ joke in Fawlty Towers has been cut because it might offend. Well, it might – if you didn’t get the joke
It’s supposed to be a comedy , e.g. funny. I suggest those “offended”  should grow a thick skin. We have always laughed at ourselves in this country , it is part of being British. If I had a pound for every time I’ve been called “sweaty sock” I’d be rich.I don’t need some corrosive but influential jumped up, multi-kulty  broadcaster telling me what is acceptable or not.
dh48
‘Sweaty sock’?
 I’ve got a jumper that says ‘Bring back (picture of a Golliwog)’
I haven’t dared wear it yet.
Bet this will be censored – sorry, moderated.
Wow. Christmas must be wild round yours.
Arrant nonsense. Amongst continentals,
The Nordics come first.
Then the Portuguese…never fought ’em
Then Gerry…sneaking regard for their efficiency and self-controlAfraid Johnnie Frog comes v near the bottom.
That’s it Tim – racist Top Trumps. The future beckons…
GQ Publishes List of Sexiest Women in the World; Daily Mail Manufactures Race Row
Posted: January 21, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, Commentary, News | Tags: Beyonce, Daily Mail, GQ, Racism, Sexiest Women 1 Comment
Big is a shape. A good shape.
For reasons best known to themselves, the Daily Mail editorship decided to publish a piece discussing the intricacies of GQ magazine’s newly-pressed ‘World’s Sexiest Women’ poll. The issue is not so much the inherent problems of conceiving such a list in the first place, but the fact that they included sub-categories such as ‘Sexiest Indian’, ‘Sexiest Italian’, and ‘Sexiest Pregnant Sri Lankan’.
Professor Ruth C. White – who must be a hit at parties – was wheeled out to say: ‘… By calling out certain women’s ethnicity and not others, what they’re implying is that these women are not beautiful simply because they’re beautiful; they’re only attractive within the context of their own ethnicity.’ You don’t get this on the football blogs.
But what did the Mail commentariat make of this fake outrage over a nothing news story? Let’s find out…
GQ in race row over Sexiest Women List which includes ‘Hottest Indian Chick’, ‘Hottest Chinese Chick’ and ‘Hottest Pregnant Sri Lankan’
If you’re a Sri Lankan, you’re a Sri Lankan. If you’re white, you’re white. It’s not racism it’s facts.
– Me, Reading, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:54
I’m thinking of painting my living room. I can’t decide whether to do it white, off-white, or Sri Lankan. Do you see the problem now?
What about me??? Surely I should have been named in the hottest English, mum of 2, under 30… in the sub text of having a dog with a bad haircut and a cat who’s scared of fish!!! Where’s my mention????
– ellajane, Wilmslow, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:50
I think there’s a reason why this category isn’t included – and a reason why newsagents around the country aren’t crowded with men scrambling for the top shelf to get their hands on the latest edition of ‘Self-consciously Kooky Pet-Loving Mums Under 30!!!???!!’. Phwoar!!?!!
So it’s ok to have The Union of Black Police Officers and clubs and gyms only for women…but not this? I can’t understand that at all…
– Unistudent, Manchester, 21/1/2013 15:43
That’s why you’re at ‘uni’ in Manchester.
Beyonce is like a Duck! her butt is shapeless, just big..
– abchopeskeepmegoing, Wales, 21/1/2013 15:14
In the context of bottoms, big is a shape.
Like the MOBO awards, they have to include these categories to make sure that non-whites win some prizes too.
– Aelfred Wantage UKIP, Oxon, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:12
Username. I bet he spends his weekends in armour, recreating things.
If your beautiful which all of these women are then there just beautiful does it matter where there from.
– Mrs Mac, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 14:50
They should include this sentence as a question in the Eleven Plus exam – ‘Correct the mistakes (5 Points)’. If you can’t, to the workhouse with you.
What people don’t want to ‘know’ is that 45+ man does not care about race.
– hormar, Wembley, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 14:50
Nobody wants to know that. That’s why all your colleagues change the subject when you mention you spent your last holiday in Thailand.
section for Hottest Red Head…………. might even buy the magazine, just goes to show that we are all different………
– Martin-S-, Nr. Leicetser, 21/1/2013 13:20
If I were a red-headed female, I’d steer clear of Nr. Leicetser.
We’re all pink inside !
– Angus, Bristol, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 13:19
This sounds creepy at the best of times, but in this context…. No.
Bit like Black music awards or gay man uk isn’t it?
– fumbler, Leeds, England, 21/1/2013 13:18
Nope.
Hottest Pregnant Sri Lankan Chick – that’s so specific that only MIA could win really LOL.
– Sarah, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 13:16
AHAHA, I hadn’t realised! Thanks for pointing that out – what wags these GQers are.
The Gift was released in 2000 so was not released in the 21st century.
– The Manxman, Douglas, Isle Of Man, 21/1/2013 13:15
To know that, to care enough to point out that – based on a spurious technicality –Â somebody has made a mistake, and then to have the energy left to hammer out a comment about it – commendable.
 Notice how these so-called ‘critics’ are allowed to be anonymous. Obviously not people whose judgment has stood any test. Probably petty-priests of the race industry, looking for new business.
– Bob the Welder, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 12:50
Bob the Welder – welding accountability to GQ sub-editors and petty-priests everywhere.
According to this paper Beyonce is black. Obama is the first black president so therefore Beyonce is black.
– Mack, London, 21/1/2013 12:36
Logic!
We could have an English rose competition!
– Odette, Acountryfullofimmigrants, 21/1/2013 12:15
We could, but it’d be hosted by Stephen Fry and sponsored by Twinings. And Kiera Knightley would win every year. Is it worth the bother?
Another left-wing storm in a D-cup……
– Gerry Smith, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 12:02
Nice. I’m going to steal that.
Sorry the term racist is constantly misused, its only racist when its used in a derogatory way not when celebration the beauty of different races. If anything it could classed as a tacky but not racist.
– JohnnyBananas, UK, 21/1/2013 11:39
Think.
Look forward to seeing the contribution for fittest repressed afgani tribes woman.
– Chris, Braintree, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 11:33
Here you go Chris:
Super Nerd Bill Gates to ‘do God’s Work’
Posted: January 19, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News | Tags: bill gates, charity, eugenics, polio, sterilisation, third world, vaccine Leave a comment
In an interview with the Telegraph, Bill Gates has announced his long-awaited levelling up from Nerd Overlord to omnipotent God. Sort of. Having already donated a whopping $28 billion to charities around the world, Gates is now turning his attention to ‘God’s work’ of eradicating polio in Afghanistan, Nigeria and Pakistan, where, in the words of Telegraph writer Neil Tweedie, ‘killing [polio] off altogether has been likened to squeezing jelly to death’.
This is surely good news, and is surely, whatever one’s personal feelings about Gates may be, another stunning act of philanthropy. However, under this shiny pebble of a story lurks a grim compost of software-related resentment, racism, and eugenics that the nation’s mouth-breathing commentariat was only too happy to voice in its usual unhinged way. Some of this is actually genuinely disturbing…
Bill Gates interview: I have no use for money. This is God’s work
Having already given away $28bn, Bill Gates intends to eradicate polio, with the same drive he brought to Microsoft .
Neil Tweedie, the Daily Telegraph
jiggery_pokery, 30 minutes ago
As long as he doesn’t hang around Tesco with a coin bucket, making me feel like a cnt because I only have my switch card, then good luck to him.
tony_opmoc, 23 minutes ago
Take some change with you next time. My lad used to do that so he could have a cheap trip to Ecuador with the school. After 6 weeks in the jungle, the kids got to some remote school in the middle of nowhere which they were supposed to be rebuilding  / repairing. The kids had a vote on it and told the lazy locals to do it themselves. If everyone had been tight, they wouldn’t have got there and back.
Every element of that post is just hilarious.
Dear Mr. Gates,
Please stop shouting about your guilty conscience and maybe, maybe, find the time to work on creating a better product than “windows” which is a shabby immitation performing much worse than the Mac operating system.
Just a suggestion.
Thank you.
Yes Mr Gates – you can deal with this trivial little vaccination vanity project of yours only once you’ve improved my “windows”.
dailymailftw, Today 06:43 AM
Im going to leave my £5.5m to animal rights and children charities to wind up the man loving telegraph readers. HAHAHA
He who laughs last…
Dear Neil Tweedie,
Thank you for this interesting article.
It is encouraging to see that great good is being done today all around the world.
We British have heard the saying “Do unto others that we wish others would do to us” or words to that effect.
THE GOLDEN RULE.
Jesus of Nazareth has taught a similar doctrine, which underpins British Society today.
Bill Gates gives of his abundance, and a widow woman may give of her “mite”.
[bible stuff]
Luke 6 : 38.
[more bible stuff]
Bill Gates and his wife Melinda prove to Us Brits the words of Scripture are true !!!
Thanks be to GOD for The Gold Standard King James Version Holy Bible.
This year, 2013, is The Diamond Jubilee of Christ/GOD dwelling incarnate in Our British Sovereign/Monarch
HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II.
This year is all set to be a Wonderful Year.
This Bill Gates article is showing the world GOOD THINGS are awaiting mankind, EVEN THIS YEARÂ !!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA.
GOD BLESS THE U.K. – “THE KINGDOM OF GOD”.
GOD SAVE OUR GLORIOUS, GRACIOUS, BRAVE, BRITISH, FAITHFUL, SAVIOUR, CHRIST/GOD-QUEEN.
Sincerely,
Veteran09.
Nurse! The pills!
CynicalOldMe, Today 06:27 AM
‘Every child, he will say, has the right to a healthy and productive life’
Very commendable, but one could argue computers and the internet have the opposite effect.
Getting fat because you are addicted to Facebook is as bad as polio.
Gates is a successful & relatively decent man I wouldn’t argue compared to certain competition.
He has made allot of money & with it is attempting to do good in his view. I personally think population should be reduced (not exactly a Capitalist model but true if suffering is to be reduced).
Only an idiot would whine about this.
Some people are envious & insecure, they even pick holes in that while in other posts whine that there is not enough emphasis on business. The bloke can’t win in the eyes of these fools can he? but fortunate for Gates, he doesn’t have to waste his time listening to their hypocritical bleating..
Sounds reasonable… hang on, what was that – ‘I personally think population should be reduced’ Oh. And so it begins…
And all those young Islamists that Saint Bill saves will be in the next immigration tsunami to hit Britain in 20 years time.
Gates, you’re an @$$hole.
Wow.
Apparently god needs some children to suffer, and has to kill some of them early because he needs them for something. Â Not sure what.
God is the biggest abortionist of all, with miscarriages outnumbering terminations by hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, to one. Â But those one’s aren’t allowed into the kingdom of heaven. Â Or are they? Â I can’t remember what the old German with the mad eyes decided…..
Wow. Someone should start making t-shirts with ‘God is the biggest abortionist of all’ printed on them. Goldmine. Offensive to everyone.
mannymantel, Today 04:34 AM
Just a thought but if he saves 12m children a year from death, that means there’s another 12 million adults for the planet to sustain.
It’s really hard to argue against his philosophy but maybe there’s a reason why polio is on the earth.
It’s a bit like forest fires clearing out the old stuff and making way for the new
One day we’ll be able to cure everything, then we’ll just starve to death
Wow. This person has a picture of a kitten as their avatar. Just a thought: one day, Mr/Ms mannymantel is going to have a cough that just won’t go away, or find a lump somewhere there shouldn’t be a lump. I can only hope – as he or she is sick with worry, pacing around a waiting room, finally called into a consultant’s office, is broken the news that it’s terminal – he or she will take comfort in the oncologist’s words, ‘Sorry, there’s not much we can do. Philosophically, we thought it might be a good idea to try and find a treatment; but, practically, it would just mean more mouths to feed. Don’t think of it as death – think of it as a forest fire clearing out the old stuff and making way for the new. Chin up.’ This is the worst kind of arsehole: an unthinking arsehole.
New_Con, Yesterday 07:57 PM
This is God’s work, so which God’s that then Bill? Watch your next few words very carefully cos if it ain’t next mans God then you can kiss this whole enterprise goodbye. The defunct mechanism with which to tackle this disease which causes as many as it cures is not going to help the cause.
[blah blah blah]
The US used a vaccination programme to kill bin Laden yet this gets no mention in this article. Bill is part of a social and societal engineering of the third world. This is being used to, as was bin Laden’s untimely death as a means to an end, so why prim it up as a wholly social enterprise?
Wow. This is all bizarre, but I think the phrase ‘bin Laden’s untimely death’ takes the shit biscuit.
sodit, Yesterday 06:48 PM
If one wanted to sterilise a population one would use a radio frequency source to fry the males gonads, and they’d never even realise it’d happened. 10W would do the trick nicely.
[someone questions whether 10W is a frequency]
No, the frequency is not particularly important. Any RF will do the job. “10W” refers to the power of the source. A microwatt will not be sufficient, and 100mW won’t be effective if there is a wall with an attenuation of, say 23dB, in the way.
Also one should use a directional antenna else you might get someone other than your target, and the spreading will affect the delivery of effective illumination.
How… how do you know this?! Why would you even think about it?!
He might be ultra successful, but he looks every one of his 57 years.
Ahhh, superficial criticism. Back to normal.
Oprah Winfrey vs Lance Armstrong: Is Armstrong a terrorist spy? Probably not.
Posted: January 18, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News | Tags: apology, Cycling, drugs, Homeland, humor, Lance Armstrong, News, Oprah Winfrey, Sport, TV, Zero Dark Thirty Leave a commentI
t used to be you knew who your heroes were. There were no grey areas. There was no ‘organised and systematic doping ring’.
No. They were clean-living, drug-free, cheat-free role models: George Best, George W. Bush and the 1919 Chicago White Sox’s ball team.
All of them. Heroes.
And now what? Our heroes are no worse than Bin Laden himself.
Take Lance Armstrong. Holed up in a cave deep in the Austin foothills, pursued relentlessly by a mono-focussed female persecutor played by Claire Danes, Jessica Chastain, Oprah Winfrey. And finally, to be brought before the American people to … to … to … well to evasively answer a series of questions.
No, it’s not the plot of Homeland season 3 or the sequel to Zero Dark Thirty, it’s a clear and present danger that the forums must answer. The call was for heroism, but did the forums accept the charges?
Lance Armstrong admits doping in Oprah Winfrey interview
– Rory Carroll, The Guardian
ukexpat1000 18 January 2013 1:05 PM
@CaptCrash – I tought my kids that when somebody is exposed as a liar, the only question remains is the extent of their lying. Therefore is anybody is exposed as a liar you should not believe ANYTHING they say.
My kids learnt that the hard way. For the next month after being caught with some minor lie I made them prove anything they said or I would not believe it. For example if they claimed to be doing well at school I told them to get a signed statement from the teachers to that effect. They quickly got the message.
So, Lance, I don’t believe a word you said until you come up with evidence to support it that would pass in a court of law.
Someone call Social Services!
rickylicious 18 January 2013 6:03 AM
I’d like to point out that I was second post on this thread – and I did it drug free! Thank you.
Yuk yuk yuk
TekNoZen 18 January 2013 10:16 AM
[Following a lengthy defence of Armstrong]
To mix my clichés, pedal a mile in Lance’s clip-ons, before you go throwing any rocks. Even with only one, he still has more stones than any of you stinking lot of pious pontificators.
thicko3000 18 January 2013 10:46 AM
@TekNoZen – i wonder if you would suck my eggs?
Yes, but only if you teach me.
greghaddock 18 January 2013 10:30 AM
@James Dismus – Well, the trouble with blogging (or more accurately, posting on forums), is that we end up making assumption based on very short comments. […]
Umm
As for being suspicious of moral outrage, oh yes, I’m with you on that. I’m a bit of a Jungian at heart, so I know a lot about the gratification of shadow projection. Â […]
Gratification of what now?
‘I don’t care that Lance doped… He gave people hope’: Controversial Jack Osbourne defends disgraced cyclist Armstrong
– By FEHINTOLA BETIKU, The Mail
Ann Paterson , Edinburgh, United Kingdom, 18/1/2013 15:55
Your talking garbage Jack!!!
Jack, you are garbage. Literally. Living, breathing and for-the-love-of-god talking garbage.
Kathy , Gourock, 18/1/2013 15:47
He cheated, all those who came second should be awarded his medal how any one can defend him puzzles me, cheating his way through all those races for all those years an utter disgrace,
Watertight argument, only those who came first were on drugs.
kikilee, johannesburg, 18/1/2013 10:09
Bernie madoff also gave people hope…
As did Obama … oh, wait … different blog.
itchychris, Sydney, 18/1/2013 10:01
Jack needs to pay more attention to his grammar than to Lance Armstrong. I love how Twitter shows the world what a moron someone is.
A moron says ‘is’.
Lance Armstrong’s body language: an expert analysis
– The Telegraph
Dan Hazell
Go burn in Texas. It’s taken a while for someone to overtake Abu Hamza at the top of my list….
Perspective, Dan. Perspective.
globalise
Notice the hand cleaning products and pure liquid in the glasses in the background, as well as the closed box next to him, versus the open bowl next to Oprah. Presumably these were not selected randomly. The message is, “I can’t tell you everything, there are still some secrets, but I am really as pure as the water in this glass, and my hands are clean.”
I’m not even a self-appointed psychology expert and I spotted all that – imagine what I could do with a degree!
Globalise, your powers of deduction are wasted here when there are so many crimes going unsolved.
Guts_An_Glory Today 09:58 AM
He’s got the eyes of a politician.
And the eye of Sauron?
Lance Armstrong Admits to Cheating in Frustrating Oprah Interview
Jordan Sargen, Gawker
TrogdorBurnination
Excellent symbology work by the set designer. Oprah is open and welcoming, like a bowl, while Lance is a box closed tight, full of secrets and drugs!
And what is the hand lotion behind Armstrong meant to symbolise? That Armstrong is one who spanks the monkey, often.
How much money does Tony Blair need? Tom Cruise for president, Transformers vs Pacific Rim and Tarantino unchained.
Posted: January 13, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News | Tags: Celebrity Big Brother, Django Unchained, entertainment, Film, Movies, oscars, Pacific Rim, Politics, Quentin Tarantino, Tom Cruise, Tony Blair, Transformers Leave a comment
With the Golden Globes and Oscars upon us, our roundup of some of the week’s best posts takes a decidedly movie-based theme, with Quentin Tarantino clashing with  Channel 4’s Krishnan Guru-Murthy and some pro-Iran Autobots . But first a couple of comments on a figure some say is so megalomaniacal, so devious, that James Bond craps Malteser sized pellets into his Union Jack boxers at shear thought…
[Tony Blair’s] taken millions from dictators and cosied up to warlords. As its reported ‘Teflon Tony’ is plotting an alliance with a super-rich financier, a devastating critique of the… Man who turned amorality into an art form
– Ian Birrell, The Mail
Dr. Jimmy, Nottingham, 12/1/2013 8:47
It appears that Socialism pays after all……but only forformer leaders of Socialist governments, not the masses they claimed to represent. Blair is a world-class hypocrit. He has no concience. Ian Birrell is correct to have written, “His moral blindness has no borders”
Tony Blair‘s charity: Immoralité sans frontières
johny, paris, 12/1/2013 7:56
You have to hand it to Blair. The guy has managed to command excessive fees for not doing too much. I am at the other end of the scale where demanding £2,000 a month consultancy fees to do a real job, is generally considered too much
That’s right, Johny described consulting as real work.
‘If Arnie can be Governor then I can be President’ says Tom Cruise
— DAVID USBORNE, The Independent
Lindum • 17 hours ago
Is the USA ready for a gay president?AlterJoe Lindum • 15 hours ago
Nice.Lindum AlterJoe • 11 hours ago
Not that I am implying that any scientologists are homosexuals. I am saying that it would be equally likely to happen.
Paul Lindum • 9 hours ago
You absolute idiot.
Paul • 9 hours ago −
Oh, someone has voted me down. Stick to the Sun little girl.
A poster’s moral authority destroyed with a poorly chosen put-down.
Pacific Rim v Transformers 4: clash of the giant robot movies
– Ben Child, The Guardian
Jingknox 11 Jan 2013
Michael Bay: he summarised his own creative style as ‘fucking the frame.’ Quite. No filmmaker has ever produced such brutalised film reals.
Gah…
FoolishEarthling 11 Jan 2013
Transformers 1 was actually very good, although I agree that the only merit in the second one was that it wipers Israel off the map, bringing peace to the Middle East […]
It’s not uranium that Iran’s been enriching, they’ve been building Ayatollah Prime
Tarantino clashes with Krishnan Guru-Murthy over Django Unchained
— Xan Brooks, The Guardian
nottaken
[…]Hwood [Hollywood] has its head firmly lodged far inside its own butt, so it should not go around giving advice about the butts of others.
God knows, but the perpetual metaphor of ‘talking shit’ continues to amaze. What does the talking rectum discuss? Does it belong to a debating society? Does it sneeze turds?
imlistening 12 Jan 2013
[Discussing the relationship between reality and movie violence]
By this logic then any incident with a samurai sword is down to Kill Bill. Or would we blame Seven Samurai?
RobertB 12 Jan 2013
Well, if the woman wielding the Katana (Samurai sword) puts one of her protagonists over her knee and spanks him with it, and states that she never got the idea from the Tarantino wankfest. Then you can blame Seven Samurai…
First Official Portrait of Newest Royal Kate “DoC” Middleton Unveiled
Posted: January 11, 2013 Filed under: Celebrity, News | Tags: bottomless, duchess of cambridge, kate middleton, portrait, royal family Leave a comment It’s been a busy start to 2013 for Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton: first it was announced that the young couple are about to make that ever-tricky first step on the palace-ladder; Kate then celebrated her 31st birthday; and, now, her first official royal portrait has been unveiled at the National Portrait Gallery.
Artist Paul Emsley seems to have done a beautiful job of capturing that ethereal and seductive ‘come-hither’ look that will emerge in those magical – if fleeting – moments between finishing the seventh can of Tennent’s Super and soiling oneself.
The Duchess loves it; ‘art’ ‘critics’ hate it; but what does the Internet think?
(As an aside, the third most common google search term for Kate Middleton is ‘kate middleton bottomless’ – fascinating. Kate Middleton bottomless.)
The Daily Mail
‘Fortunately, she looks nothing like that in real life’: ‘Rotten’ first official portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge by artist Paul Emsley is unveiled
Painting is sure to be divisive – but Kate is said to be ‘thrilled’ with it
The Duchess is shown grimacing rather than smiling
Hair has a coppery tinge and there are shadows and lines under her eyes
Artist wanted to capture her ‘charm, serenity and intelligence’
Rebecca English | full article
How far along is Kate exactly in her pregnancy? she doesnt look it at all?!
– JoelsSnowflake, Luton, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 12:49
Yeah, how come I can’t see the baby growing on her face?
Bad Feng Shui to have dark background portrait because it will makes situation from possible bad luck to actually coming true so that is why you see many renown chinese ancestors portrait doesn’t have dark background. So please have it destroy as we don’t want anything bad happen to our future monarchy.
– Alex Lee, Thurnsceo, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 12:47
I had some bad Feng Shui once… not pretty.
Very good, just like every women when she wakes up
– Ali, London, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 12:47
… in my basement when the roofies wear off.
that is an awful painting. Tthe Duchess is so young and beautiful but the painting makes her look like a middle aged old woman with rediculously young looking hair !!
– Arthur, London, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 12:42
Young. Looking. Hair.
Well done .its a masterpiece if people don’t like it ,its because their jealous .and its from somebody who has drawn the last supper me . Daniel Heafey
– steelback2, glasgow, 11/1/2013 12:37
What exactly are your credentials to judge this painting Mr Heafey? … Oh, that. OK.
Waity is “thrilled” by anything, because it’s always free. The picture shows her small eyes and naff brows. It is soft focus, vague and bland – just like the sitter.
– Citizen not subject, London, 11/1/2013 13:02
Yeah, those brows are so not ‘with-it’.
It looks more like a younger Edwina Currie to me.
– Guinevere, London, 11/1/2013 13:00
Three little words to make anyone shudder.
who cares as long as it is not printed on our Penny’s
– Robert Abdul-Ali, London for now, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 12:55
Our Penny’s what?
It would have worked if she had been in characteristic pose with her teeth sowing which are one of her best and most distinctive features. Here the artists has somehow managed not to notice that and as a result her face looks fuller.
– Pass the Dynamite, London, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 12:54
That’s it – needs more teeth.
The artist has perfectly captured her charm, serenity and intelligence, it is clear from the painting that there isn’t any. A perfect rendition of our princess, all that’s missing is a hand begging for cash.
– bph1964, glasgow, 11/1/2013 12:10
Oh, sarcasm. Nice.
I have to agree, this picture is just awful. It ages her terribly. And as for Brian Sewell, he himself is ¿disgusting, distasteful, sickening and repulsive ¿ and an offence to both painting and portraiture.¿!
– John, Luxembourg, 11/1/2013 12:31
At least he’s got a better line in adjectives.
My grandaughter who is 3yr s could do a better”portrait” in crayons and could after 3 glasses of good red wine-pathetic-it should be binned,looks nothing like Kate
– rainman, casino, United States Minor Outlying Islands, 11/1/2013 13:28
Sounds like someone’s 3-year-old granddaughter really knows how to party!
Utterly ghastly at least it shows her real skin without all the make up and fillers. P.s. if she’s pregnant I’ll eat my hat. The windsors trying to fool everyone again with their smoke and mirrors. And William looks miserable around her!
– Bella, London, United Kingdom, 11/1/2013 13:30
Another Royal family fake pregnancy scandal? Have they learned nothing?!
it’s hortid
– kedge, Hartlepool, 11/1/2013 13:22
Splentid!
Over to the Guardian…
The Guardian
Duchess of Cambridge delights at first official portrait
Press Association | full article
SantaMuerte
11 January 2013 11:06 AMShe looks like she’s trying not to say something naughty.
Something like…..”I’ve just married my way into a virtually unlimited Tax Payer funded expenses account”…
Oh, Guardian.
robodog
11 January 2013 10:57 AMIt is just awful. But then again, as an artist, I wouldn’t find Kate Middleton an interesting subject for my art, unless I was a satirist maybe, so maybe that’s why. They should have asked Jeff Koons so that he could have portrayed her and William as the kitsch in human form that they are.
As a doctor, I would recommend you remove your dangerously swollen head from your bottom.
fecalcameron
11 January 2013 11:47 AMYeah, don’t get it, take away the expensive wardrobe and layers of make up and she’s no Elizabeth Taylor. All pointy features and thin lips and wardrobe of a 40 year old, maybe she look better if she dropped the malnourished boy look. Looks like the same fawning attitude that lead to very average, slightly manly looking Diana being considered beautiful, I mean come on…
I think this kind of comment might be part of the reason why people develop eating disorders.
EvilDave
11 January 2013 11:10 AM
She looks like she’s having an allergic reaction to some peanuts. Which is precisely what this portrait should be worth.
Zing!
cheveguara
11 January 2013 11:13 AMDuchess of Cambridge my arse, what a load of shit all this royalty is.
Sounds funnier in a Yorkshire accent.
MombasaSixtyNine
11 January 2013 11:11 AMLooks more like Fergie in that painting.
I don’t know – maybe if you imagine some thick glasses, a touch more red on the nose and cheeks, that boyish twinkle in the eye… oh, wait, I see.
KathrynDobinson
11 January 2013 11:21 AMSnort. I know my eyesight is poor…but…what.Last time I looked K-Middy wasn’t grey and aged.
…K-Middy…
No.
fjpuente
11 January 2013 11:32 AMWhat a horror it looks like a haunted dog.
Beautiful.
Comment Is Freed 
Valentine’s Special: Whores Recruited to Satisfy Those With Special Needs
Posted: February 13, 2013 | Author: timkerbelle83 | Filed under: Celebrity, Commentary, News, Politics, Uncategorized | Tags: hooker, retards, special, valentine, whore | 1 CommentEssentially, the story is that some care homes may have spent a portion of their budgets on procuring ‘sex workers’ for their charges. That’s it. Do you have a problem with that? If you said ‘yes’, you’re an idiot.
If you’re a prostitute, I’m sure the disabled community makes up a very small part of your clientèle; if you’re disabled, it’s up to you what you want or don’t want, but you should be given the chance to make the choice. You – YOU WHO READS THIS AND EVERY OTHER STUPID ARTICLE IN THE PAPER – are neither. It’s none of your business; it’s not your problem; shut up and go away.
The only thing older than prostitution is disability. This happens in every other country – first world, third world – in the world. Only here, in Great Britain, could we make an issue out of it.
‘I want a world where disabled people are valid sexual partners’
Recent reports that a care home procured sex workers for its disabled residents and new film The Sessions have put disability and sex in the spotlight. But is the focus on prostitution helpful?
kwenchin, 13 February 2013 12:58am
Right. Let’s choke the drugs industry by cutting out hookers.
iruka, 13 February 2013 8:53am
I lost you at ‘solipsistic’ you terrible bore. Seriously – fuck you and whatever tent-pitching delusion you may have.
mikozero, 13 February 2013 12:22pm
Yes!
nellief, 13 February 2013 2:24pm
Nobody, except you and the hundreds of mouth-foaming commentors, is mistaking intimacy with sex. This doesn’t happen in real life – why should you be so blind to it? Perhaps if you were disabled you might understand a little better.
ChristopherHervet, 13 February 2013 3:58pm
Brilliant. Re-proud to be British.
RA1966,13 February 2013 7:40am
000a000, 12 February 2013 11:03pm
Haneen1,12 February 2013 11:07pm
Meh. You’ve over-thought this, so fuck you.
MoneyMustGo, 12 February 2013 11:43p
Really? If it was pay for it or never have it?
RA1966, 13 February 2013 7:45am
‘my toe is not the same as my penis’ – you are the bigger wanker. i hope you suffer.
triunfun, 12 February 2013 11:51pm
You can’t argue with that.
TheRightSort, 13 February 2013 12:46am
Not cool.
Dryhtscipe, 13 February 2013 10:24am
This is too stupid for comment.
LittleLetters,13 February 2013 6:26am
That’s pretty grim, but it’s reality – READ IT
bolobo, 13 February 2013 2:10am
I ache to say: Fuck you.
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