Reeva Steenkamp laid to rest, Oscar Pistorius loses early wickets

543c935d-bd83-4705-a388-d3430460f75c_reeva-steenkamp10-140213

Is it more offensive to show a woman looking hot while baking or looking hot while wearing a bikini?

Look, I’m sorry – I can’t stop reading about this. There doesn’t seem to be anything else happening anyway. It’s a lot more interesting than what Ed Milliband is doing – whatever it is that he does.

Oscar Pistorius’ bail hearing began today. If this whole thing were a test match, you could say he probably had a good day today; won the afternoon and evening session after losing four wickets before lunch. But there’s a long way to go to save the match, let alone rescue the series.

Meanwhile, his ‘Baba’ was being laid to rest. That got the limited, respectful coverage it deserved. God bless her.

Anyway, here’s some guff:

Apropos of nothing, but I have never seen a square toilet seat before.

Nigel, Sydney, 19/2/2013 23:18

That is truly a wonder.

Thank God for trial by jury. Let justice be served in court and not through the media.

peaxhy, London, 19/2/2013 23:16

Errm, I think you may be disappointed. Apparently, they haven’t used juries in SA since the mid-90s – it was just getting too difficult to find 12 people who weren’t racist. True story.

Surely it won’t be that difficult for forensics to determine whether she was using the toilet or hiding in there.

Louise, WIrral, 19/2/2013 23:07

I wouldn’t have thought that would take an expert of any kind.

Not sure who I am most disgusted at currently. The Mail for printing these pictures or me for gawking at them???

atwbaker, Exeter, 19/2/2013 22:55

Yup.

So upset xxx RIP Reeva xx

lexi, London, 19/2/2013 20:57

Oh, stop it.

I am very very confused.

groundhog, Glasgow, United Kingdom, 19/2/2013 20:56

Hmm.

So horrific, a corner bath.

Wakeup, London, 19/2/2013 19:02

Amusing and yet still a massive prick.

How are these photos chilling? It’s just a normal bathroom

Sierra, Surrey, 19/2/2013 18:45

Congratulations – you pass the psychopath test!

The heights of the shots would be different if the legs were on or off. If she was using the bathroom and not hiding in there, then there should be evidence in the toliet

Janesmithhk, Chrustchurch, 19/2/2013 18:42
This guy gets it – answer that question and the whole situation will be much clearer.

Reeva Steenkamp

I’d hit it… but never with a cricket bat.


Super-human Oscar Pistorius Becomes Oscar Pistoffius, Mows Down Girlfriend, Allegedly

reeva-steenkamp-bikini-photo

If you have a problem with this picture, tell the Mail.

The body of Reeva Steenkamp, unfortunate girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – of hitherto inspiration-to-everyone legless Olympian Oscar Pistorius, was probably still warm when the UK press started moralising about this unintended, accidental tragedy of South African gun culture.

Except, as the facts began to emerge not long after, there wasn’t a lot that sounded accidental about the incident. Everybody fell for the story, but only the Daily Mail – to use a completely random analogy – decided to ‘shoot first and ask questions later’ by spraying its front page with articles on the story; riddling those stories with suggestive pictures of the late La Steenkamp; and oozing grey matter and haemorrhaging idiocy all over the comments ‘opened’ for these articles. Spunk.

Ok, so she was shot four times in the head, chest and arm – anyway you slice that, it doesn’t quite jive with the intruder story. But that’s not for us to judge; at the Mail it is always ‘Innocent until proven… oh, look it’s a Middle-Aged woman with Cellulite Wearing a Ill-Judged Bikini!!!!!’.

Blade Runner Oscar Pistorius charged with murder after ‘he accidentally shot dead his model girlfriend at his luxury South Africa home when he mistook her for an intruder’

– By Martin Robinson, Simon Tomlinson and Dan Newling In Cape Town, the Daily Mail

This is almost has disheartening as Lance Armstrong.

alistz, vizio oh, 14/2/2013 15:16

Discuss. Seriously…. discuss. You could do a Phd on that.

This is why I tell people to use so-called assault weapons for home protection. You have room to easily mount a flashlight on them. That way you can be certain of target.

whtnationalist, Marshalltown Iowa USA, 14/2/2013 15:15

Ahhhhh… silly goose. This never would’ve happened if he’d just used assault weapons instead.

Maybe she made fun of him.

John Jones, Roswell, United States, 14/2/2013 14:43

Oh well, in that case, bitch had it coming.

what a tagedy!

bebuxxu, Rome, Italy, 14/2/2013 14:16

ANOTHER NAIL FOR THE DEATH OF THE 2ND AMMENDMENT.

SHADOW100, SAN MARCOS, 14/2/2013 14:07

Errrrrmmm…

This tragedy is the result of two young people both making a fatal mistake at the same time. She surely knew he was well-armed and feared break-ins, and she had to be well aware of the violent nature of life in SA. But in her excitement about the surprise, she didn’t think about that. He should have known not to shoot first before ascertaining the identity of the intruder … all he had to do was yell out, “Who is it?” and “I am armed and will shoot you!” But in his undoubted state of fear, he didn’t think about that either. Result? A devastating accident. When he gave her the key to his place, he should have told her the rules … no surprises & always announce yourself first. If he had been 40 instead of 26, I think he’d have been mature and wise enough to have thought of that. I’m willing to bet this was simply a tragic accident.

WagTheDog, Vegas USSA, United States, 14/2/2013 13:44

I suspect this man would try to acquit himself of rape by arguing that the plaintiff  was wearing a short skirt and ‘whorey make up.’

OMG! I mean, really, just OMG!

Devil Cat, London, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 13:32

Die.

I’m South African. Yip, it’s not a country for sissies.

The Oppinionated One, Mpumalanga, 14/2/2013 13:31

Never thought that for a second, Opp.

So sad – two lives ruined, least we forget their families. No doubt Hollywood will be jumping on the band wagon and looking to turn his life story into a film.

Carrie, London, 14/2/2013 13:30

Really? Have you not seen OJ Simpson, the Movie? No? I wonder why not.

So sad. This guy had so much going for him…

Samantha, Middle England, 14/2/2013

Yeah, and she had a pulse.

I don’t understand why previous ‘domestic’ incidents are being thrown into the mix. People have arguments, they can get heated, police are sometimes called to diffuse a situation? Nobody is perfect! Doesn’t mean people are about to start shooting each other? Facts before accusation….and only the police can deal with those!

Sher x, Swansea, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 12:35

Christmas must be wild round yours.

The same thing almost happened to me, but in my case, I do not own a gun so I was glad. Heard some noises in the kitchen at 3 am. Cracked open the bedroom door and I could see a human silhouette standing still. My heart raced. Grabbed a Rambo knife that I had and was ready to confront intruder when I realized, what if it is my wife? Sure enough her side of the bed was empty, so I turned on the lights and there she was, staring at our cat through the window. Also scary is that I had set up life insurance policies through a employment benefits meeting the day before! So I would have had a clear motive under the eyes of the police had I had a gun and decided to use it blindly. Moral of this story, never shoot at somebody for self defense reasons before knowing his/her identity and do it after announcing yourself. What a tragedy, I feel sorry for both. However it sounds like overkill to me, no need to pump a body full of bullets.

somewhereintheus, somewhereintheus, 14/2/2013 12:29

Whaaaaa?

Oh my darling Oscar!!!!! i am so so sorry!! i love you so much! i am really sorry about your loss and trauma. Please let the justice system understand this tragedy and work well for you. I am heartbroken

BB, glasgow, 14/2/2013 10:51

Your loss?

this is so terribly sad xxxx

GeordieEastender, East London, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 11:17

Thanks, mwuh.

Absolutely heartbreaking, so tragic xxx

Miss_Kinks, Wiltshire, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:58

Yes, mwuh mwuh mwuh.

This is just so awful 😦 I pray for him and the girls family at this very sad, tragic time xxx

MrsHogg, Durham, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:44

As do I. Mwuh mwuh mwuh.

How very tragic … I think living with the fact that you accidentally killed your beloved is punishment enough. I don’t see how prosecution would be in the public interest. Sending best wishes to all x

Thanks. Love to Mum and Dad. Mwuh.

How awful! Rip x

RoyalEngrWife1466, Bolton, Uk, 14/2/2013 10:16

Rip Mwuh.

…Seriously, why do people do this? is it a new thing? Are some people so terminally stupid that they’ve lost the ability to distinguish online comments sections from text messages?

From law graduate to reality TV star: FHM model Reeva Steenkamp was about to ‘explode into the media’, claims devastated agent

– By Simon Tomlinson, the Daily Mail

I’m not sure what’s more distasteful about this headline – is it the ‘explode into the media’ bit (explode all over more like, hurrrr) or is it ‘devastated agent’? You’re an agent. Your job is to make money by exploiting people. Family cares? Dunno. Friends care? Dunno. Apparently the guy that was going to make money out of her cares. He was the first one on the phone. He’s devastated.

She was too good for him.

Joe, Belfast, 14/2/2013 13:26

*click* Yah Sistah!

How can someone be “allegedly shot dead”? She is either alive or she is dead. She was either shot or she was not. The word allegedly is so incorrectly used here, it detracts from the sad story.

Kate, Sydney, 14/2/2013 12:29

That’s a surprisingly good point.

Oh dear how sad, I bet he is mortified. If it was a genuine mistake I am sure the jury will find him innocent of murder and realise it was unintentional manslaughter. Poor guy. Crumbs, Valentine’s Day will never be the same for him.

Gorgeous Brunette, Liskeard, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:51

Valentine’s day will never be the same for him?!

****Bonus Update****

article-reeva-fhm3-0214Well, the Mail has continued to open its Pistorius articles to inappropriate, ill-informed and irresponsible comments. On the other hand, the Guardian, the Independent and the unattractive, unloved women of Twitter have sunk even lower by cheapening the whole thing by focusing on the Sun’s perfectly legitimate choice of front page photo. As though it’s somehow disrespectful. I’m sure when Wayne Rooney dies, the papers will illustrate it with a picture of him playing football; when Brigitte Bardot dies, it’ll be a picture of her acting and/or arguing with a cat; when these people die, the Made-Up Fantasy Times, ‘People who were rubbish’ column will be illustrated with a picture of someone physically attached to a sofa, cramming Doritos into their mouth with their disgustingly sausage-like orange cheesy fingers, while ineffectually ‘cutting’ themselves with a blade so blunt it couldn’t possibly do anything more than cosmetic damage.

It was too annoying to wade through those comments, so back to the Daily Mail for some healthy idiocy…

Blade Runner in the dock: Oscar Pistorius holds his head in his hands as he is formally charged with murdering his model girlfriend who ‘was shot four times through bathroom door’ at his home

By Leon Watson, Martin Robinson, Simon Tomlinson and Dan Newling, The Mail

Why is he crying?

Sandy Brown, London, 15/2/2013 16:37

Congratulations – you pass the psychopath test!

I fail to see what he would have gained through a planned murder of this poor woman – he has no money concerns and if he no longer wanted to go out with her he would have had no difficulty in ending the relationship. I feel the fact he shot through the door suggests he thought it was an intruder but obviously until the police investigation is closed we can only speculate as to what went on.

kate, paris, France, 15/2/2013 16:22

Hmmm, yes – murder is only a practical option when in financial difficulties or when you’re just too embarrassed to break up with someone.

Nice to see his brother smiling with another relative. Meanwhile a young woman is dead. This whole story is so shocking.

Lily, London – UK, 15/2/2013 16:05

Bastard! And with a relative too… pffft!

95% of the comments here are DISGUSTING. Why is everyone treating Pistorius like the victim? A young girls body LAYS COLD. A mother and father have to bury their child.

Cherry, london, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 15:58

Lays cold what?

Let us not forget that SHE IS DEAD!!

Sassy Lassy, Great Britain, 15/2/2013 15:33

YAY!

It was an accident. They should let him go

Floridian, USA, United States, 15/2/2013 15:29

Oh right, there we go. Everybody go home now, that’s it. All over, nothing to see here.

 My sympathies to the poor victim and her family… Poor woman never got to get married, have babies or get old…such a waste all round. Rip xxx

Lorraine, ex-pat, 15/2/2013 15:09

Mwuh mwuh mwuh…. rip.

What the hell could have happened there?!? It’s just crazy!!!

JFK, South of Spain, Spain, 15/2/2013 14:44

How can you be South of Spain and yet still in Spain?! It’s just crazy!!!

This is why you never shoot at an unidentified target. This is one of the basic 4 rules of gun safety: Always be sure of your target and what is beyond it. Never aim at anything you are not willing to destroy. Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on target. Treat all guns as loaded. Had he followed these simple rules this would not have happened. That is proper gun control.

klingon00, Columbus, 15/2/2013 14:26

Ah right, thanks for clearing that up Klingon. You see, I’d thought that the problem was having guns in your bedroom; I hadn’t realised that really the problem was just the fact that someone didn’t remember some stupid half-baked code about what you should and shouldn’t do with a gun. That was the problem! Education.

Have you never locked yourself in the bathroom to escape someone? I’ve had to. I’m NOT saying that’s what happened but the amount of people proclaiming him innocent based on the fact she was in the bathroom!!!

Nishuo, outside your window, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 14:10

I just looked outside my window – bet you did too.

 Shot 4 x through bathroom door – then that surely shows that a) He didnt see her and b) he didnt know it was her. This sounds like a he really did mistake her for an intruder?

Tim-nice-but-dim, London, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 14:02

‘Roight Francois – wie’re gonna do this berglaree job, bit wince wi git in, Io’ve gotta pinch a wickid loaf.’

The South African authorities are a disgrace. Why on earth are they treating Oscar like a common criminal. He is a global icon and should not be paraded like a murderer. This was clearly a tragic but honest mistake. He should be released immediately and the Police should focus on the real criminals in the townships.

Adam, London, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 13:52

Can’t be serious.


Valentine’s Special: Whores Recruited to Satisfy Those With Special Needs

1020_1325797285Look, I’ll be honest – I’m sorry, this is dark. Really dark. But that makes it all the more infuriating.

Essentially, the story is that some care homes may have spent a portion of their budgets on procuring ‘sex workers’ for their charges. That’s it. Do you have a problem with that? If you said ‘yes’, you’re an idiot.

If you’re a prostitute, I’m sure the disabled community makes up a very small part of your clientèle; if you’re disabled, it’s up to you what you want or don’t want, but you should be given the chance to make the choice. You – YOU WHO READS THIS AND EVERY OTHER STUPID ARTICLE IN THE PAPER – are neither. It’s none of your business; it’s not your problem; shut up and go away.

The only thing older than prostitution is disability. This happens in every other country – first world, third world – in the world. Only here, in Great Britain, could we make an issue out of it.

‘I want a world where disabled people are valid sexual partners’

Recent reports that a care home procured sex workers for its disabled residents and new film The Sessions have put disability and sex in the spotlight. But is the focus on prostitution helpful?

kwenchin, 13 February 2013 12:58am

Prostitution should not be encouraged. These women lead sad lives and support the drugs industry. The govt. would to paying to support the drugs industry and trafficing of east european sex slaves.

Right. Let’s choke the drugs industry by cutting out hookers.

iruka, 13 February 2013 8:53am

This east European ‘sex slaves’ myth is pure propaganda.

I don’t have any problem at all with sexual surrogacy. In some ways it’s pretty much the opposite of men paying money for the right to a half hour of morally solipsistic play with someone else’s body…reliving the tent-pitching delusion that they’re actually entitled to use other people purely as ends, and that that their ability to pay is the basis of that right.

I lost you at ‘solipsistic’ you terrible bore. Seriously – fuck you and whatever tent-pitching delusion you may have.

mikozero, 13 February 2013 12:22pm

how about we just give disabled people their money to live on, accept that at that point it’s actually theirs, and keep our damn moralising and holier than thou attitude out of other peoples business ?

Yes!

nellief, 13 February 2013 2:24pm

– Paying for sex is hardly “intimacy” – something that I hope all people with disabilities have in their life. The emphasis on sex is just sad.

Nobody, except you and the hundreds of mouth-foaming commentors, is mistaking intimacy with sex. This doesn’t happen in real life – why should you be so blind to it? Perhaps if you were disabled you might understand a little better.

ChristopherHervet, 13 February 2013 3:58pm

@silentstar101 – A long time ago or maybe once upon a time – the Samaritans were plagued by hundreds of calls from men seeking sexual gratification via the phone. This was thought to prevent the actively suicidal from getting through so the Brenda system was established.

Men needing that kind of satisfaction were encouraged to ask for “Brenda” who was a woman trained to try and engage with them and to talk about their underlying problems.

The outcome was that in some cases the woman volunteer would speak to the man while he endeavoured to come. A wel- to-do elderly BBC employee of my acquaintance regularly undertook this duty long after the Brenda system was scrapped.

I think the point I’m making in a round about way is that maybe money doesn’t need to change hands. It could be a voluntary service like any other with volunteers receiving appropriate CRB checks and training in sex therapy?

Brilliant. Re-proud to be British.

RA1966,13 February 2013 7:40am

@TrueBrit1066 – Everyone has the right to enjoy sex in some way,

do you agree that the NHS should provide free viagra for all? Patients with erectile dysfunction have a problem that prevents them enjoying sex.

000a000, 12 February 2013 11:03pm

Slightly uneasy about this: what’s the difference between a businessman who’s too busy to bother with seduction using a prostitute, someone who’s too lazy or drunk, and someone who’s too disabled?

Haneen1,12 February 2013 11:07pm

@000a000 – difference is that in the former two cases it involves a “subjective moral fault”, whereas disability is not a moral failing. They can’t help it, they didn’t choose to be disabled, nor did they do anything bad which made them disabled. Whatever you may feel about the sex service thing, it is wrong to put disabled people into the same category as greedy capitalists and the lumpen or borderline criminal elements.

Meh. You’ve over-thought this, so fuck you.

MoneyMustGo, 12 February 2013 11:43p

It’s sad that some people never get to have sex. Men like to romanticise prostitution, but it’s a f….ing terrible thing. If I had a disabled son, who was desperate for sex, I’d be telling him that it’s so wrong to buy a woman.

Really? If it was pay for it or never have it?

RA1966, 13 February 2013 7:45am

@lostalex77 – Why is the vagina or penis considered such a SACRED body part? it’s just another body part

.

Incorrect. Your face is not the same as your vagina. My toe is not the same as my penis.

‘my toe is not the same as my penis’ – you are the bigger wanker. i hope you suffer.

triunfun, 12 February 2013 11:51pm

I dont give a damn whether is legal or not, as long both parts have an agreement.

You can’t argue with that.

TheRightSort, 13 February 2013 12:46am

I’m sure there’s a pretty penny to be made out there to make ‘niche porn’? Perhaps that could fund this er… enterprise?

Not cool.

Dryhtscipe, 13 February 2013 10:24am

@lostalex77 – No, some people are advocating that the government pay for it.

Taxpayers don’t pay for anything but taxes.

It ceased being your money when it left your account… just as it does when you buy a car. You don’t get a say in whether the car salesman hires a prostitute either.

This is too stupid for comment.

LittleLetters,13 February 2013 6:26am

@kwenchin – Must be cosy up there, surveying the perfect world. Talk to a 65 year old single mother, looking after her 18 stone 40 year old son. He has a mental age of about 2, and hasn’t learnt how to masturbate. Once a month a sex worker provides him with hand relief and his mother with a calm household for a while. Whilst this is an imagined scenario, it’s one that exists in similar forms, far more often than anyone would like. Disability is not merely physical, and the relief offered by sex workers is not merely for the client.

That’s pretty grim, but it’s reality – READ IT

bolobo, 13 February 2013 2:10am

As a long-time inadvertant-celibate what I ache for is to touch my forehead against the forehead of someone who loves me and I can’t buy that. Using a sex worker would only serve to emphasise the comparative triviality of my loins.

“What disabled people need is full and equal rights. An inclusive society, which doesn’t create barriers.”

I’m not against anybody employing a sex worker but feel that it’s just a more complicated form of masturbation rather than sex.
It’s not new in the film world. 1998’s The Theory of Flight, starring Helena Bonham Carter as a woman with motor neurone disease, was excellent in it’s exploration of the subject.

I ache to say: Fuck you.


Miriam Margolyes leaves UK for Australia

Miriam Margolyes leaves UKSo you’re a distinguished elder stateswoman of the UK thespian scene. But the calls haven’t been coming in of late and the lime light is starting to dim a little.

What do you do?

Well if you’re actor Miriam Margolyes you do a Gérard Depardieu / Brigitte Bardot number and do-one abroad – specifically, Australia. In the process of emigrating, you denounce the nation that spawned you as a class-ridden cesspool, filled with scum bags who wouldn’t look out of place being ventilated by Liam Neeson in Taken 3.

As one can imagine, this incurred the wrath of the forums.

First a comment from Richard, a troll on the Daily Mail:

Richard, Torrevieja, 28/1/2013 11:09

Who?

Good question. I had to Google Miriam Margolyes myself, after spotting the story had drawn over a thousand comments on the Guardian.

Answer: Actress who appeared in Blackadder.

So how did Margolyes herself describe her new found status:

‘I think I should be described as ‘bi’- not bisexual because I’m not – I’m gay – but ‘binational’ because I retain British nationality and I add to it being Australian, which is like having your cake and eating it.’

And then every other cake in the bakery.

Five reasons to leave Britain

– Victoria Coren, The Guardian

Depressingly, quite a few comments focussed on Coren’s marriage to comedian and fellow columnist David Mitchell.

These came in two flavours: ‘You’re not David Mitchell. I like David Mitchell … I’m secretly afraid of women’ and ‘Did David Mitchell teach you how to write?’. If these passive-aggresive sexist comments had a designer fragrance associated with them, it would probably be called Julian.

Example:

Cussutduck 03 February 2013 2:22pm

Is she trying to be funny like David? David is funny. Where’s he then?
I think this country is pony because it calls itself a member of Europe but none of us can go to mainland Europe without paying quite a lot of money. I would rather live in mainland Europe and feel properly European, or not have to pay all that much to go there.
That’s not meant to be funny.

I hear Belarus is cheap this time of year.

CityGardens 03 February 2013 5:43pm

Earlier today, at 11.34am, I posted a very brief, one-sentence comment here stating simply that I found Victoria Coren’s article superficial and trite and not worthy of The Guardian. My comment received half a dozen recommends . . . and it has now been removed, to be replaced by “This comment has been removed by a moderator.”

Is this the liberal, left-leaning, honest-talking Guardian . . . or a paper now emulating the organs of the Third Reich?
Shame on you, Idiot Guardian Moderator! Shame on you!

An act of moderation causes one mouth-breather to compare a leading investigative newspaper with one of the architects of National Socialism.

Nadia Di Martino 03 February 2013 5:29pm

Five? Only five? I have at least 5 million reasons to give you on why I left Britain. If anybody want to hear them here I am.

I suspect that the five million reasons are actually five million signatories to have this poster removed from the UK.

martinusher 03 February 2013 4:58pm

The depressing thing about modern England is discovering that historically its the norm. Those of us who were born baby boomers, the post WW2 generation, were brought up in a false world, a place which was pretty good and apparently likely to get better.

[More of this kind of ‘insight’ before…]

As for me, I legged it. Most other societies wouldn’t stand for the kind of government that rules England, one that has absolutely no interest in the welfare of its citizens (sorry, “subjects”). That doesn’t mean that everywhere else is better (and the indomitable English character born of putting up with this BS is still very much in evidence) but at least you get a chance.
I blame it on 1066 myself….

I’m sure the people of, say, all the failed states in the world, wouldn’t mind giving the coalition a shot.

monkey999 03 February 2013 2:08pm

I left Britain because I couldn’t stand it about 15 years ago. I came back last year because I couldn’t stand the other country I was living in.
Wherever you go, there you are. Please just learn to stand yourself.

Hehe. You can’t emigrate from yourself: If you were a tool in one country, you’re still going to be a tool in another country.

ozzydave 03 February 2013 12:19pm

been saying it on here for years….get the hell out of dodge. anything short of that is child abuse. yeah, oz has got its faults, but it’s nothing that a decent salary won’t cure. freeeeeedom!

Winner of the hyperbolic comment of the day award! If your not gone in the next sixty seconds, well you might as well be a child molester.

TomReeve 03 February 2013 11:52am

Oh, poor Victoria – are you (privately educated/Oxford graduate), your husband (privately educated/Cambridge graduate) and your friends (mostly privately educated/Oxbridge graduates) sick and tired of hearing about the class system? Does it not seem odd to you that a disproportionately high number of the top jobs in the UK (including journalism, comedy and the arts) are held by people who wear an old school tie?
Odd, but for all your satirical, witty and populist commentary, we don’t hear you commenting about that, do we? I wonder why…

These kind of inferiority-complex comments litter The Guardian’s comment section like half-read Don DeLillo novels in the flats of North London.

Smoore1 03 February 2013 10:15am

The worst things about the UK are

1 To many foreigners
2 The Tory party
3 Political correctness
4 Bean counters masquerading as management

chillisauce 03 February 2013 10:21am

I presume you mean ‘two many foreigners…’

‘W’ is seven characters away from ‘O’ on the keyboard.

Actress Miriam blasts English class system as she becomes an Australian citizen

– By ALASDAIR GLENNIE, The Mail

Jordi, Camden, United Kingdom, 28/1/2013

She’s a very nice person and a brilliant actress, good luck to her, I’d leave this country too if I could, it’s too full of spongers and moaners.

A meta moan?

Ben, Wolverhampton, 28/1/2013 12:17

i don’t care, she’s not a nice lady.

What did she do to Ben? Not return his football when he kicked it into her garden?

shirley1919, brentwood, 28/1/2013 15:17

i sincerely hope she is is not receiving a pension from the UK

That’s just cold.

Lesbian actress Miriam Margolyes becomes Aussie citizen

– Joe Morgan, Gay  Star News

Maybe we should all take note of Terry’s comment on Gay Star News:

Terry Stussy

You’re all just Hateful. This does not affect you in the least. Wish her well and move on.


Fawlty Towers BBC Race Row

manuelThe BBC found itself in yet another ‘damned if they do, damned if they don’t’ situation this week when they chose to retrospectively censor an episode of Fawlty Towers. The scene in question involved ‘the Major’ using the N-word. It’s well written and quite funny – in context.

On the other hand, perhaps we should accept the fact that it’s not acceptable to use the N-word pre-watershed.

To be fair to the swivel-eyed knee-jerkers commenting at the Daily Mail, the paper cunningly buried the text of the article in a sea of youtube videos of John Cleese doing his Hitler impression; so, some misunderstanding overreaction is to be expected.

The Mail

Don’t mention the ***: Censorship row as BBC cuts the Major’s ‘racist’ lines from classic Fawlty Towers episode

Laura Cox, The Mail
First up, clever acronym watch:

BBC . Brussels Broadcasting Company .

bill, Lowestoft, 23/1/2013 15:56

And we have to even pay to be brain washed! The British Brainwashing Company it to dangerous now it has to be folded up for the sake of freedom and Democracy!

john, whatswasafineplacetolive, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 12:11

Big Brother Corporation is watching you!

Anti-Anti, Huntingdon, 23/1/2013 7:44

Isn’t that on Channel Five now?

The Bolshevik Broadcasting Company strikes again and undermines one of the greatest shows it ever produced. What next changing the name of The One Show in case numbers 2 to 10 get upset?

Brian, Broken Britain, 23/1/2013 9:43

There must be someone in the BBC whole went through the programme before transmission to make sure “they” would not be offended. How very Patronising and Condescending. The true meaning of PC.

Mike, London, 23/1/2013 9:04

So we can no longer laugh at something that was made 38 years ago! All of this politically correct and anti-discrimination is gone way too far, it’s an absolute joke. Other countries must laugh at us thanks to the Bye Bye Civilisation (BBC) censoring anything that one person might find offensive. I thought they stopped censoring theatres in 1968, surely TV and radio wouldn’t be fixed soon after?

DisaterX, Bedford, 23/1/2013 0:27
And the rest of it:

The Beeb is like a Greek guy who has suddenly found pink toilet paper in his toilet.

Davewhoever, Gloucester, 23/1/2013 0:38

Admittedly, I don’t know too many Greek guys, but I have absolutely no idea what this means.

…I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

pragmatica, Manchester, UK, 23/1/2013 1:27

A line from an episode of Fawlty Towers got cut… Goodbye cruel world!

Ahh , the days when we could just enjoy a good comedy , i’ll bet even the Germans laugh at this one .

Derek, London, 23/1/2013 1:53

Hmmmm

Ridiculous to airbrush a comedy show. Just listen to the lyrics of most rap – hip hop music today!!!

Viv, London, 23/1/2013 5:22

I think you’re missing a crucial nuance…

Soe people are racist……………Get over it.

Peter Pan, Neverland, 23/1/2013 6:42

Pfft, yeah – racism, get over it.

Ridiculous. Next Shakespeare will be edited. What’s wrong with people.

me, here, 23/1/2013 6:44

Next?! This is such a common phenomenon that it has its own verb.

A few years ago in Preston I was selling some small blackboards for children. Allt he white people came to me asking how much are the chalkboards. All and I mean all my Asian customers asked me how much were my blackboards.

PaulDavis, York UK, 23/1/2013 9:07

Haha… what?

Perhaps Josef Goebbels is alive and well as DG of the BBC!

Citizen Smith, Billericay, 23/1/2013 9:18

The person responsible for cutting a line from Fawlty Towers is comparable to the architect of the Holocaust.

The BBC is the biggest fascist organisation in this country. If you dont follow their ‘PC’ agenda your ridiculded.

Ridiculdous!- swanseajosh86, Swansea, Algeria, 23/1/2013 9:57

The BBC did the same edit nonsense with an episode of “Some Mothers Do Ave Em” Frank Spencer in the 3rd series during the moving house scene where Frank falls out of the back of removal van and into a vat of boiling tar by the side of the road, where a Indian man offers to help Frank out of the tar, Frank replies “White man thanks Indian brother” then the Indian man offers Frank a cup of tea, all this was oddly edited out on DVD versions as Franks comments & conversation in the scene were all polite, and friendly so why was it edited ??

birdland, Watford, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 10:03

I guess you had to see it.

Britain HAS REALLY gone down the drain! Now just WHY, WHY, WHY should we change OUR way of life just to please a minority group. Our fathers who perished FOR NOTHING in 2 world wars would turn in their graves!!!!!!!!! R.I.P. “britain”

True British Patriot, London, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 10:14

Uhhh… it’s a line from a 38-year-old sitcom.

Dont know if you have noticed but eastenders don’t even swear anymore. so unrealistic

Zoe, Hull, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 10:24

Heh.

Reminds me of the defacing of the Greek and Roman statues! Pitiful bigotry! In the same spirit erase everything about slavery from history books???

Mario Kassianides, London, 23/1/2013 10:48

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Royal Academy – I present to you – Michaelangelo’s ‘The Germans’!

They did the same with FRIENDS before it was handed over to Comedy Central the people at E4 cut out all the gags n censored everythin to the point that nothing made sense

mrs.b, lancs, 23/1/2013 11:37

Oh, so that’s why it’s not funny.

I phoned the BBC to complain and was told by the chap who took the call not to use language like that !!!!!!! you really couldnt make .

Michael the un pc, sittingbourne, 23/1/2013 11:41

Haha, what a conversation that must’ve been.

Q: What is the difference between the BBC censoring historic screenplay and Hitler burning history books? A: No difference, they’re both examples of depraved minds seeking to impose their minds on society, just because they can. We fought a war to stop that kind of behaviour and of all the likely suspects, who’d have thought the BBC – Voice of freedom and truth – would be the ones to step up and assume the mantle of a dictator wanting to change history!

Gwyn, Newport, United Kingdom, 23/1/2013 12:31

Uhhh… A: BBC is Hitler?

I have met quite a few German people over the last few years – a sure ice-breaker is “Don’t mention the War – I did it once but I think I got away with it”. Never fails to get a laugh.

Frank, Wirral, 23/1/2013 14:02

Really?

How can it be racist when Germans and British people are both white?

Mary, Montreal, 23/1/2013 15:33

Germans are slightly whiter.

Will please the readers of the Guardian

Psd, Hants, 23/1/2013 7:04

Will it? Let’s find out:

Fawlty Towers isn’t racist. Major Gowen is.

To make a show of the fact that you know what the Major’s surname is is as bad as being a  terrble racist.

spontaneityrox

23 January 2013 4:49pm

Our country sucks now, you can’t say anything without making someone cry. And since we have the internet, they let everyone know that they’re crying about it.

Lame. They’ve even made the internet a rubbish place to be.

Beautiful. Perfect

HappyValley, 23 January 2013 5:12pm

In Spain they made him [Manuel] into an Italian

If that’s true, that’s hilarious.

loftytom, 23 January 2013 5:51pm

Erm, Manuel was a Catalan
“I come from Barcelona”

scientific

Piss off.

23 January 2013 5:01pm

Even when I was at stiff-upper-lip public school, we were very nearly (and not quite) allowed to use the word “nigger” in a sentence as long as it was part of a quote. That was mid-70s!

How can you very nearly use a word?

FiniteMonkey, 23 January 2013 5:42pm

Possibly, although it didn’t stop the Beeb from wonderfully showing the full opening titles to last week’s teatime episode, complete with Flowery Twats sign (which I still honestly find the funniest thing from all 12 brilliant episodes) to what seems like absolutely no complaints whatsover 🙂

Hehe, yeah.

Over at the Telegraph

Why can’t we laugh at the old jokes any more?

A ‘racist’ joke in Fawlty Towers has been cut because it might offend. Well, it might – if you didn’t get the joke

eric_the_scot

6 minutes ago

It’s supposed to be a comedy , e.g. funny. I suggest those “offended”  should grow a thick skin. We have always laughed at ourselves in this country , it is part of being British. If I had a pound for every time I’ve been called “sweaty sock” I’d be rich.I don’t need some corrosive but influential jumped up, multi-kulty  broadcaster telling me what is acceptable or not.

dh48

‘Sweaty sock’?

42 minutes ago

 I’ve got a jumper that says ‘Bring back (picture of a Golliwog)’

I haven’t dared wear it yet.

Bet this will be censored – sorry, moderated.

Wow. Christmas must be wild round yours.

lordmuck

5 hours ago

Arrant nonsense.  Amongst continentals,

The Nordics come first.
Then the Portuguese…never fought ’em
Then Gerry…sneaking regard for their efficiency and self-control

Afraid Johnnie Frog comes v near the bottom.

That’s it Tim – racist Top Trumps. The future beckons…

NAGGERS_b9e82b_2494975


GQ Publishes List of Sexiest Women in the World; Daily Mail Manufactures Race Row

Big - but a shape?

Big is a shape. A good shape.

For reasons best known to themselves, the Daily Mail editorship decided to publish a piece discussing the intricacies of GQ magazine’s newly-pressed ‘World’s Sexiest Women’ poll. The issue is not so much the inherent problems of conceiving such a list in the first place, but the fact that they included sub-categories such as  ‘Sexiest Indian’, ‘Sexiest Italian’, and ‘Sexiest Pregnant Sri Lankan’.

Professor Ruth C. White – who must be a hit at parties – was wheeled out to say: ‘… By calling out certain women’s ethnicity and not others, what they’re implying is that these women are not beautiful simply because they’re beautiful; they’re only attractive within the context of their own ethnicity.’ You don’t get this on the football blogs.

But what did the Mail commentariat make of this fake outrage over a nothing news story? Let’s find out…

GQ in race row over Sexiest Women List which includes ‘Hottest Indian Chick’, ‘Hottest Chinese Chick’ and ‘Hottest Pregnant Sri Lankan’

MATT BLAKE, the Mail

If you’re a Sri Lankan, you’re a Sri Lankan. If you’re white, you’re white. It’s not racism it’s facts.

Me, Reading, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:54

I’m thinking of painting my living room. I can’t decide whether to do it white, off-white, or Sri Lankan. Do you see the problem now?

What about me??? Surely I should have been named in the hottest English, mum of 2, under 30… in the sub text of having a dog with a bad haircut and a cat who’s scared of fish!!! Where’s my mention????

ellajane, Wilmslow, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:50

I think there’s a reason why this category isn’t included – and a reason why newsagents around the country aren’t crowded with men scrambling for the top shelf to get their hands on the latest edition of ‘Self-consciously Kooky Pet-Loving Mums Under 30!!!???!!’. Phwoar!!?!!

So it’s ok to have The Union of Black Police Officers and clubs and gyms only for women…but not this? I can’t understand that at all…

Unistudent, Manchester, 21/1/2013 15:43

That’s why you’re at ‘uni’ in Manchester.

Beyonce is like a Duck! her butt is shapeless, just big..

abchopeskeepmegoing, Wales, 21/1/2013 15:14

In the context of bottoms, big is a shape.

Like the MOBO awards, they have to include these categories to make sure that non-whites win some prizes too.

Aelfred Wantage UKIP, Oxon, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:12

Username. I bet he spends his weekends in armour, recreating things.

If your beautiful which all of these women are then there just beautiful does it matter where there from.

Mrs Mac, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 14:50

They should include this sentence as a question in the Eleven Plus exam – ‘Correct the mistakes (5 Points)’. If you can’t, to the workhouse with you.

What people don’t want to ‘know’ is that 45+ man does not care about race.

hormar, Wembley, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 14:50

Nobody wants to know that. That’s why all your colleagues change the subject when you mention you spent your last holiday in Thailand.

section for Hottest Red Head…………. might even buy the magazine, just goes to show that we are all different………

Martin-S-, Nr. Leicetser, 21/1/2013 13:20

If I were a red-headed female, I’d steer clear of Nr. Leicetser.

We’re all pink inside !

Angus, Bristol, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 13:19

This sounds creepy at the best of times, but in this context…. No.

Bit like Black music awards or gay man uk isn’t it?

fumbler, Leeds, England, 21/1/2013 13:18

Nope.

Hottest Pregnant Sri Lankan Chick – that’s so specific that only MIA could win really LOL.

Sarah, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 13:16

AHAHA, I hadn’t realised! Thanks for pointing that out – what wags these GQers are.

The Gift was released in 2000 so was not released in the 21st century.

The Manxman, Douglas, Isle Of Man, 21/1/2013 13:15

To know that, to care enough to point out that – based on a spurious technicality –  somebody has made a mistake, and then to have the energy left to hammer out a comment about it – commendable.

 Notice how these so-called ‘critics’ are allowed to be anonymous. Obviously not people whose judgment has stood any test. Probably petty-priests of the race industry, looking for new business.

Bob the Welder, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 12:50

Bob the Welder – welding accountability to GQ sub-editors and petty-priests everywhere.

According to this paper Beyonce is black. Obama is the first black president so therefore Beyonce is black.

Mack, London, 21/1/2013 12:36

Logic!

We could have an English rose competition!

Odette, Acountryfullofimmigrants, 21/1/2013 12:15

We could, but it’d be hosted by Stephen Fry and sponsored by Twinings. And Kiera Knightley would win every year. Is it worth the bother?

Another left-wing storm in a D-cup……

Gerry Smith, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 12:02

Nice. I’m going to steal that.

Sorry the term racist is constantly misused, its only racist when its used in a derogatory way not when celebration the beauty of different races. If anything it could classed as a tacky but not racist.

JohnnyBananas, UK, 21/1/2013 11:39

Think.

Look forward to seeing the contribution for fittest repressed afgani tribes woman.

Chris, Braintree, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 11:33

Here you go Chris:

AS-RefID: C1142314300 E34000916


Super Nerd Bill Gates to ‘do God’s Work’

bill_gatesIn an interview with the Telegraph, Bill Gates has announced his long-awaited levelling up from Nerd Overlord to omnipotent God. Sort of. Having already donated a whopping $28 billion to charities around the world, Gates is now turning his attention to ‘God’s work’ of eradicating polio in Afghanistan, Nigeria and Pakistan, where, in the words of Telegraph writer Neil Tweedie, ‘killing [polio] off altogether has been likened to squeezing jelly to death’.

This is surely good news, and is surely, whatever one’s personal feelings about Gates may be, another stunning act of philanthropy. However, under this shiny pebble of a story lurks a grim compost of software-related resentment, racism, and eugenics that the nation’s mouth-breathing commentariat was only too happy to voice in its usual unhinged way. Some of this is actually genuinely disturbing…

Bill Gates interview: I have no use for money. This is God’s work

Having already given away $28bn, Bill Gates intends to eradicate polio, with the same drive he brought to Microsoft .

Neil Tweedie, the Daily Telegraph

jiggery_pokery, 30 minutes ago

As long as he doesn’t hang around Tesco with a coin bucket, making me feel like a cnt because I only have my switch card, then good luck to him.

tony_opmoc, 23 minutes ago

Take some change with you next time. My lad used to do that so he could have a cheap trip to Ecuador with the school. After 6 weeks in the jungle, the kids got to some remote school in the middle of nowhere which they were supposed to be rebuilding  / repairing. The kids had a vote on it and told the lazy locals to do it themselves. If everyone had been tight, they wouldn’t have got there and back.

Every element of that post is just hilarious.

islandflyer, 35 minutes ago

Dear Mr. Gates,

Please stop shouting about your guilty conscience and maybe, maybe, find the time to work on creating a better product than “windows” which is a shabby immitation performing much worse than the Mac operating system.

Just a suggestion.

Thank you.

Yes Mr Gates – you can deal with this trivial little vaccination vanity project of yours only once you’ve improved my “windows”.

dailymailftw, Today 06:43 AM

Im going to leave my £5.5m to animal rights and children charities to wind up the man loving telegraph readers. HAHAHA

He who laughs last…

veteran09, Today 06:35 AM

Dear Neil Tweedie,

Thank you for this interesting article.

It is encouraging to see that great good is being done today all around the world.

We British have heard the saying “Do unto others that we wish others would do to us” or words to that effect.

THE GOLDEN RULE.

Jesus of Nazareth has taught a similar doctrine, which underpins British Society today.

Bill Gates gives of his abundance, and a widow woman may give of her “mite”.

[bible stuff]

Luke 6 : 38.

[more bible stuff]

Bill Gates and his wife Melinda prove to Us Brits the words of Scripture are true  !!!

Thanks be to GOD for The Gold Standard King James Version Holy Bible.

This year, 2013, is The Diamond Jubilee of Christ/GOD dwelling incarnate in Our British Sovereign/Monarch

HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II.

This year is all set to be a Wonderful Year.

This Bill Gates article is showing the world GOOD THINGS are awaiting mankind, EVEN THIS YEAR  !!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

GOD BLESS THE U.K. – “THE KINGDOM OF GOD”.

GOD SAVE OUR GLORIOUS, GRACIOUS, BRAVE, BRITISH, FAITHFUL, SAVIOUR, CHRIST/GOD-QUEEN.

Sincerely,
Veteran09.

Nurse! The pills!

CynicalOldMe, Today 06:27 AM

‘Every child, he will say, has the right to a healthy and productive life’

Very commendable, but one could argue computers and the internet have the opposite effect.

Getting fat because you are addicted to Facebook is as bad as polio.

asx1, Today 06:19 AM

Gates is a successful & relatively decent man I wouldn’t argue compared to certain competition.
He has made allot of money & with it is attempting to do good in his view. I personally think population should be reduced (not exactly a Capitalist model but true if suffering is to be reduced).
Only an idiot would whine about this.
Some people are envious & insecure, they even pick holes in that while in other posts whine that there is not enough emphasis on business. The bloke can’t win in the eyes of these fools can he? but fortunate for Gates, he doesn’t have to waste his time listening to their hypocritical bleating..

Sounds reasonable… hang on, what was that – ‘I personally think population should be reduced’ Oh.  And so it begins…

flatdog77, Today 05:45 AM

And all those young Islamists that Saint Bill saves will be in the next immigration tsunami to hit Britain in 20 years time.

Gates, you’re an @$$hole.

Wow.

cortez, Today 06:00 AM

Apparently god needs some children to suffer, and has to kill some of them early because he needs them for something.  Not sure what.

God is the biggest abortionist of all, with miscarriages outnumbering terminations by hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, to one.  But those one’s aren’t allowed into the kingdom of heaven.  Or are they?  I can’t remember what the old German with the mad eyes decided…..

Wow. Someone should start making t-shirts with ‘God is the biggest abortionist of all’ printed on them. Goldmine. Offensive to everyone.

mannymantel, Today 04:34 AM

Just a thought but if he saves 12m children a year from death, that means there’s another 12 million adults for the planet to sustain.

It’s really hard to argue against his philosophy but maybe there’s a reason why polio is on the earth.

It’s a bit like forest fires clearing out the old stuff and making way for the new

One day we’ll be able to cure everything, then we’ll just starve to death

Wow. This person has a picture of a kitten as their avatar. Just a thought: one day, Mr/Ms mannymantel is going to have a cough that just won’t go away, or find a lump somewhere there shouldn’t be a lump. I can only hope – as he or she is sick with worry, pacing around a waiting room, finally called into a consultant’s office, is broken the news that it’s terminal – he or she will take comfort in the oncologist’s words, ‘Sorry, there’s not much we can do. Philosophically, we thought it might be a good idea to try and find a treatment; but, practically, it would just mean more mouths to feed. Don’t think of it as death – think of it as a forest fire clearing out the old stuff and making way for the new. Chin up.’ This is the worst kind of arsehole: an unthinking arsehole.

New_Con, Yesterday 07:57 PM

This is God’s work, so which God’s that then Bill? Watch your next few words very carefully cos if it ain’t next mans God then you can kiss this whole enterprise goodbye. The defunct mechanism with which to tackle this disease which causes as many as it cures is not going to help the cause.

[blah blah blah]

The US used a vaccination programme to kill bin Laden yet this gets no mention in this article. Bill is part of a social and societal engineering of the third world. This is being used to, as was bin Laden’s untimely death as a means to an end, so why prim it up as a wholly social enterprise?

Wow. This is all bizarre, but I think the phrase ‘bin Laden’s untimely death’ takes the shit biscuit.

sodit, Yesterday 06:48 PM

If one wanted to sterilise a population one would use a radio frequency source to fry the males gonads, and they’d never even realise it’d happened. 10W would do the trick nicely.

[someone questions whether 10W is a frequency]

No, the frequency is not particularly important. Any RF will do the job. “10W” refers to the power of the source. A microwatt will not be sufficient, and 100mW won’t be effective if there is a wall with an attenuation of, say 23dB, in the way.

Also one should use a directional antenna else you might get someone other than your target, and the spreading will affect the delivery of effective illumination.

How… how do you know this?! Why would you even think about it?!

inessence, Yesterday 07:10 PM

He might be ultra successful, but he looks every one of his 57 years.

Ahhh, superficial criticism. Back to normal.