Super-human Oscar Pistorius Becomes Oscar Pistoffius, Mows Down Girlfriend, Allegedly

reeva-steenkamp-bikini-photo

If you have a problem with this picture, tell the Mail.

The body of Reeva Steenkamp, unfortunate girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – of hitherto inspiration-to-everyone legless Olympian Oscar Pistorius, was probably still warm when the UK press started moralising about this unintended, accidental tragedy of South African gun culture.

Except, as the facts began to emerge not long after, there wasn’t a lot that sounded accidental about the incident. Everybody fell for the story, but only the Daily Mail – to use a completely random analogy – decided to ‘shoot first and ask questions later’ by spraying its front page with articles on the story; riddling those stories with suggestive pictures of the late La Steenkamp; and oozing grey matter and haemorrhaging idiocy all over the comments ‘opened’ for these articles. Spunk.

Ok, so she was shot four times in the head, chest and arm – anyway you slice that, it doesn’t quite jive with the intruder story. But that’s not for us to judge; at the Mail it is always ‘Innocent until proven… oh, look it’s a Middle-Aged woman with Cellulite Wearing a Ill-Judged Bikini!!!!!’.

Blade Runner Oscar Pistorius charged with murder after ‘he accidentally shot dead his model girlfriend at his luxury South Africa home when he mistook her for an intruder’

– By Martin Robinson, Simon Tomlinson and Dan Newling In Cape Town, the Daily Mail

This is almost has disheartening as Lance Armstrong.

alistz, vizio oh, 14/2/2013 15:16

Discuss. Seriously…. discuss. You could do a Phd on that.

This is why I tell people to use so-called assault weapons for home protection. You have room to easily mount a flashlight on them. That way you can be certain of target.

whtnationalist, Marshalltown Iowa USA, 14/2/2013 15:15

Ahhhhh… silly goose. This never would’ve happened if he’d just used assault weapons instead.

Maybe she made fun of him.

John Jones, Roswell, United States, 14/2/2013 14:43

Oh well, in that case, bitch had it coming.

what a tagedy!

bebuxxu, Rome, Italy, 14/2/2013 14:16

ANOTHER NAIL FOR THE DEATH OF THE 2ND AMMENDMENT.

SHADOW100, SAN MARCOS, 14/2/2013 14:07

Errrrrmmm…

This tragedy is the result of two young people both making a fatal mistake at the same time. She surely knew he was well-armed and feared break-ins, and she had to be well aware of the violent nature of life in SA. But in her excitement about the surprise, she didn’t think about that. He should have known not to shoot first before ascertaining the identity of the intruder … all he had to do was yell out, “Who is it?” and “I am armed and will shoot you!” But in his undoubted state of fear, he didn’t think about that either. Result? A devastating accident. When he gave her the key to his place, he should have told her the rules … no surprises & always announce yourself first. If he had been 40 instead of 26, I think he’d have been mature and wise enough to have thought of that. I’m willing to bet this was simply a tragic accident.

WagTheDog, Vegas USSA, United States, 14/2/2013 13:44

I suspect this man would try to acquit himself of rape by arguing that the plaintiff  was wearing a short skirt and ‘whorey make up.’

OMG! I mean, really, just OMG!

Devil Cat, London, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 13:32

Die.

I’m South African. Yip, it’s not a country for sissies.

The Oppinionated One, Mpumalanga, 14/2/2013 13:31

Never thought that for a second, Opp.

So sad – two lives ruined, least we forget their families. No doubt Hollywood will be jumping on the band wagon and looking to turn his life story into a film.

Carrie, London, 14/2/2013 13:30

Really? Have you not seen OJ Simpson, the Movie? No? I wonder why not.

So sad. This guy had so much going for him…

Samantha, Middle England, 14/2/2013

Yeah, and she had a pulse.

I don’t understand why previous ‘domestic’ incidents are being thrown into the mix. People have arguments, they can get heated, police are sometimes called to diffuse a situation? Nobody is perfect! Doesn’t mean people are about to start shooting each other? Facts before accusation….and only the police can deal with those!

Sher x, Swansea, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 12:35

Christmas must be wild round yours.

The same thing almost happened to me, but in my case, I do not own a gun so I was glad. Heard some noises in the kitchen at 3 am. Cracked open the bedroom door and I could see a human silhouette standing still. My heart raced. Grabbed a Rambo knife that I had and was ready to confront intruder when I realized, what if it is my wife? Sure enough her side of the bed was empty, so I turned on the lights and there she was, staring at our cat through the window. Also scary is that I had set up life insurance policies through a employment benefits meeting the day before! So I would have had a clear motive under the eyes of the police had I had a gun and decided to use it blindly. Moral of this story, never shoot at somebody for self defense reasons before knowing his/her identity and do it after announcing yourself. What a tragedy, I feel sorry for both. However it sounds like overkill to me, no need to pump a body full of bullets.

somewhereintheus, somewhereintheus, 14/2/2013 12:29

Whaaaaa?

Oh my darling Oscar!!!!! i am so so sorry!! i love you so much! i am really sorry about your loss and trauma. Please let the justice system understand this tragedy and work well for you. I am heartbroken

BB, glasgow, 14/2/2013 10:51

Your loss?

this is so terribly sad xxxx

GeordieEastender, East London, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 11:17

Thanks, mwuh.

Absolutely heartbreaking, so tragic xxx

Miss_Kinks, Wiltshire, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:58

Yes, mwuh mwuh mwuh.

This is just so awful 😦 I pray for him and the girls family at this very sad, tragic time xxx

MrsHogg, Durham, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:44

As do I. Mwuh mwuh mwuh.

How very tragic … I think living with the fact that you accidentally killed your beloved is punishment enough. I don’t see how prosecution would be in the public interest. Sending best wishes to all x

Thanks. Love to Mum and Dad. Mwuh.

How awful! Rip x

RoyalEngrWife1466, Bolton, Uk, 14/2/2013 10:16

Rip Mwuh.

…Seriously, why do people do this? is it a new thing? Are some people so terminally stupid that they’ve lost the ability to distinguish online comments sections from text messages?

From law graduate to reality TV star: FHM model Reeva Steenkamp was about to ‘explode into the media’, claims devastated agent

– By Simon Tomlinson, the Daily Mail

I’m not sure what’s more distasteful about this headline – is it the ‘explode into the media’ bit (explode all over more like, hurrrr) or is it ‘devastated agent’? You’re an agent. Your job is to make money by exploiting people. Family cares? Dunno. Friends care? Dunno. Apparently the guy that was going to make money out of her cares. He was the first one on the phone. He’s devastated.

She was too good for him.

Joe, Belfast, 14/2/2013 13:26

*click* Yah Sistah!

How can someone be “allegedly shot dead”? She is either alive or she is dead. She was either shot or she was not. The word allegedly is so incorrectly used here, it detracts from the sad story.

Kate, Sydney, 14/2/2013 12:29

That’s a surprisingly good point.

Oh dear how sad, I bet he is mortified. If it was a genuine mistake I am sure the jury will find him innocent of murder and realise it was unintentional manslaughter. Poor guy. Crumbs, Valentine’s Day will never be the same for him.

Gorgeous Brunette, Liskeard, United Kingdom, 14/2/2013 10:51

Valentine’s day will never be the same for him?!

****Bonus Update****

article-reeva-fhm3-0214Well, the Mail has continued to open its Pistorius articles to inappropriate, ill-informed and irresponsible comments. On the other hand, the Guardian, the Independent and the unattractive, unloved women of Twitter have sunk even lower by cheapening the whole thing by focusing on the Sun’s perfectly legitimate choice of front page photo. As though it’s somehow disrespectful. I’m sure when Wayne Rooney dies, the papers will illustrate it with a picture of him playing football; when Brigitte Bardot dies, it’ll be a picture of her acting and/or arguing with a cat; when these people die, the Made-Up Fantasy Times, ‘People who were rubbish’ column will be illustrated with a picture of someone physically attached to a sofa, cramming Doritos into their mouth with their disgustingly sausage-like orange cheesy fingers, while ineffectually ‘cutting’ themselves with a blade so blunt it couldn’t possibly do anything more than cosmetic damage.

It was too annoying to wade through those comments, so back to the Daily Mail for some healthy idiocy…

Blade Runner in the dock: Oscar Pistorius holds his head in his hands as he is formally charged with murdering his model girlfriend who ‘was shot four times through bathroom door’ at his home

By Leon Watson, Martin Robinson, Simon Tomlinson and Dan Newling, The Mail

Why is he crying?

Sandy Brown, London, 15/2/2013 16:37

Congratulations – you pass the psychopath test!

I fail to see what he would have gained through a planned murder of this poor woman – he has no money concerns and if he no longer wanted to go out with her he would have had no difficulty in ending the relationship. I feel the fact he shot through the door suggests he thought it was an intruder but obviously until the police investigation is closed we can only speculate as to what went on.

kate, paris, France, 15/2/2013 16:22

Hmmm, yes – murder is only a practical option when in financial difficulties or when you’re just too embarrassed to break up with someone.

Nice to see his brother smiling with another relative. Meanwhile a young woman is dead. This whole story is so shocking.

Lily, London – UK, 15/2/2013 16:05

Bastard! And with a relative too… pffft!

95% of the comments here are DISGUSTING. Why is everyone treating Pistorius like the victim? A young girls body LAYS COLD. A mother and father have to bury their child.

Cherry, london, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 15:58

Lays cold what?

Let us not forget that SHE IS DEAD!!

Sassy Lassy, Great Britain, 15/2/2013 15:33

YAY!

It was an accident. They should let him go

Floridian, USA, United States, 15/2/2013 15:29

Oh right, there we go. Everybody go home now, that’s it. All over, nothing to see here.

 My sympathies to the poor victim and her family… Poor woman never got to get married, have babies or get old…such a waste all round. Rip xxx

Lorraine, ex-pat, 15/2/2013 15:09

Mwuh mwuh mwuh…. rip.

What the hell could have happened there?!? It’s just crazy!!!

JFK, South of Spain, Spain, 15/2/2013 14:44

How can you be South of Spain and yet still in Spain?! It’s just crazy!!!

This is why you never shoot at an unidentified target. This is one of the basic 4 rules of gun safety: Always be sure of your target and what is beyond it. Never aim at anything you are not willing to destroy. Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on target. Treat all guns as loaded. Had he followed these simple rules this would not have happened. That is proper gun control.

klingon00, Columbus, 15/2/2013 14:26

Ah right, thanks for clearing that up Klingon. You see, I’d thought that the problem was having guns in your bedroom; I hadn’t realised that really the problem was just the fact that someone didn’t remember some stupid half-baked code about what you should and shouldn’t do with a gun. That was the problem! Education.

Have you never locked yourself in the bathroom to escape someone? I’ve had to. I’m NOT saying that’s what happened but the amount of people proclaiming him innocent based on the fact she was in the bathroom!!!

Nishuo, outside your window, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 14:10

I just looked outside my window – bet you did too.

 Shot 4 x through bathroom door – then that surely shows that a) He didnt see her and b) he didnt know it was her. This sounds like a he really did mistake her for an intruder?

Tim-nice-but-dim, London, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 14:02

‘Roight Francois – wie’re gonna do this berglaree job, bit wince wi git in, Io’ve gotta pinch a wickid loaf.’

The South African authorities are a disgrace. Why on earth are they treating Oscar like a common criminal. He is a global icon and should not be paraded like a murderer. This was clearly a tragic but honest mistake. He should be released immediately and the Police should focus on the real criminals in the townships.

Adam, London, United Kingdom, 15/2/2013 13:52

Can’t be serious.


GQ Publishes List of Sexiest Women in the World; Daily Mail Manufactures Race Row

Big - but a shape?

Big is a shape. A good shape.

For reasons best known to themselves, the Daily Mail editorship decided to publish a piece discussing the intricacies of GQ magazine’s newly-pressed ‘World’s Sexiest Women’ poll. The issue is not so much the inherent problems of conceiving such a list in the first place, but the fact that they included sub-categories such as  ‘Sexiest Indian’, ‘Sexiest Italian’, and ‘Sexiest Pregnant Sri Lankan’.

Professor Ruth C. White – who must be a hit at parties – was wheeled out to say: ‘… By calling out certain women’s ethnicity and not others, what they’re implying is that these women are not beautiful simply because they’re beautiful; they’re only attractive within the context of their own ethnicity.’ You don’t get this on the football blogs.

But what did the Mail commentariat make of this fake outrage over a nothing news story? Let’s find out…

GQ in race row over Sexiest Women List which includes ‘Hottest Indian Chick’, ‘Hottest Chinese Chick’ and ‘Hottest Pregnant Sri Lankan’

MATT BLAKE, the Mail

If you’re a Sri Lankan, you’re a Sri Lankan. If you’re white, you’re white. It’s not racism it’s facts.

Me, Reading, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:54

I’m thinking of painting my living room. I can’t decide whether to do it white, off-white, or Sri Lankan. Do you see the problem now?

What about me??? Surely I should have been named in the hottest English, mum of 2, under 30… in the sub text of having a dog with a bad haircut and a cat who’s scared of fish!!! Where’s my mention????

ellajane, Wilmslow, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:50

I think there’s a reason why this category isn’t included – and a reason why newsagents around the country aren’t crowded with men scrambling for the top shelf to get their hands on the latest edition of ‘Self-consciously Kooky Pet-Loving Mums Under 30!!!???!!’. Phwoar!!?!!

So it’s ok to have The Union of Black Police Officers and clubs and gyms only for women…but not this? I can’t understand that at all…

Unistudent, Manchester, 21/1/2013 15:43

That’s why you’re at ‘uni’ in Manchester.

Beyonce is like a Duck! her butt is shapeless, just big..

abchopeskeepmegoing, Wales, 21/1/2013 15:14

In the context of bottoms, big is a shape.

Like the MOBO awards, they have to include these categories to make sure that non-whites win some prizes too.

Aelfred Wantage UKIP, Oxon, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 15:12

Username. I bet he spends his weekends in armour, recreating things.

If your beautiful which all of these women are then there just beautiful does it matter where there from.

Mrs Mac, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 14:50

They should include this sentence as a question in the Eleven Plus exam – ‘Correct the mistakes (5 Points)’. If you can’t, to the workhouse with you.

What people don’t want to ‘know’ is that 45+ man does not care about race.

hormar, Wembley, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 14:50

Nobody wants to know that. That’s why all your colleagues change the subject when you mention you spent your last holiday in Thailand.

section for Hottest Red Head…………. might even buy the magazine, just goes to show that we are all different………

Martin-S-, Nr. Leicetser, 21/1/2013 13:20

If I were a red-headed female, I’d steer clear of Nr. Leicetser.

We’re all pink inside !

Angus, Bristol, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 13:19

This sounds creepy at the best of times, but in this context…. No.

Bit like Black music awards or gay man uk isn’t it?

fumbler, Leeds, England, 21/1/2013 13:18

Nope.

Hottest Pregnant Sri Lankan Chick – that’s so specific that only MIA could win really LOL.

Sarah, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 13:16

AHAHA, I hadn’t realised! Thanks for pointing that out – what wags these GQers are.

The Gift was released in 2000 so was not released in the 21st century.

The Manxman, Douglas, Isle Of Man, 21/1/2013 13:15

To know that, to care enough to point out that – based on a spurious technicality –  somebody has made a mistake, and then to have the energy left to hammer out a comment about it – commendable.

 Notice how these so-called ‘critics’ are allowed to be anonymous. Obviously not people whose judgment has stood any test. Probably petty-priests of the race industry, looking for new business.

Bob the Welder, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 12:50

Bob the Welder – welding accountability to GQ sub-editors and petty-priests everywhere.

According to this paper Beyonce is black. Obama is the first black president so therefore Beyonce is black.

Mack, London, 21/1/2013 12:36

Logic!

We could have an English rose competition!

Odette, Acountryfullofimmigrants, 21/1/2013 12:15

We could, but it’d be hosted by Stephen Fry and sponsored by Twinings. And Kiera Knightley would win every year. Is it worth the bother?

Another left-wing storm in a D-cup……

Gerry Smith, London, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 12:02

Nice. I’m going to steal that.

Sorry the term racist is constantly misused, its only racist when its used in a derogatory way not when celebration the beauty of different races. If anything it could classed as a tacky but not racist.

JohnnyBananas, UK, 21/1/2013 11:39

Think.

Look forward to seeing the contribution for fittest repressed afgani tribes woman.

Chris, Braintree, United Kingdom, 21/1/2013 11:33

Here you go Chris:

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