Dude, where’s my credit rating?

Tory Fudwit

Tory Fudwit?

Smeg head?

Smeg head?

One moment you’re in a pizza restaurant in Davos with all your mates – BloJo is recounting lewd stories of semi-naked volleyball players glistening like wet ottters under the muggy London sun; Dave is telling the waiter that he is very clear about vaguely knowing that he wants – either the margarita or meat feast, although, maybe, he fancies the pasta. The next thing you know you’ve had too many Advocaats and have woken up in some sleazy five-star shack in downtown Geneva. You don’t know where you are. Your head is spinning and you wished you tried harder at whatever it was you did at uni. Because right now a letter has some how turned into a fucking number. That’s impossible, you tell yourself. That’s like arch-pant wetters the Lib Dems joining the Tory party in some kind… But wait, that did happen… and oh … shit … you kind of said a few things awhile back about how a particular letter would never turn into a particular number.

At least that’s what,  kinda, happened to Tory fudwit George Osborne. The professional towel-folder awoke to the news that Moody’s has downgraded the UK’s credit rating from AAA to AA1. AAA shiiittt. And now it’s becoming crushingly clear that a triple-dip is not a type of sandwich at Subway, but one of the shittier economic sticks that gets passed around.

No doubt the UK’s forums reacted in a measured way.

Britain will take years to earn back AAA rating, says Ken Clarke

By Rowena Mason, The Telegraph

Let’s get the pro-UKIP posts out the way.

robhoward

UKIP or DEATH for BRITAIN

countrollo

Sorry rgh, NOTHING will stem the oncoming flood, -kriste, it’s EU LAW, and we have NO say. Only UKIP will act on this nightmare.

memberofhepublic

This is true. Since in a democracy all governments bribe their way into power by offering the dumb-ass electorate free everything in exchange for votes, it is likely that we would now be worse off under a Labour government. Labour bribery historically has had the populist edge over Conservative bribery.

Yeah, democracy’s well shit, init.

From the crank file…

landulla

Ken Clarke is a boring old fart who wouldn’t know if his a*se was on fire. I watched him on Sky this morning and his lickspittle responses, presumably prompted by his desire to to hang onto a cabinet job at all costs, were downright embarrassing.

People like him are the problem for the Tories – self-indulgent Leftie PC trendoids with upper class accents – who have the intestinal fortitude of a pea. He is totally out of touch with the severity of Britain’s economic situation as experienced by the ordinary people of Britain and only is concerned with the continuity of regular contact between his ample rear-end and the velour of his taxpayer-funded chauffeured limousine.

“Intestinal fortitude of a pea” – frickin’ genius.

Slash taxes now or you’ll lose the Election, Osborne is warned: Rebel Tory hits out after AAA blow

By SIMON WALTERS, The Mail

Background: Article details Tory MP Adam Afriyie’s view that you’ve gotta slash to grow.

Mecheeta

Whats Andi Peters talking about now?

Basically, the joke is Mr Afriyle is black.

dumber123

The best thing to get any economy moving is to “SLASH TAXES” However,Here is BRITAINS PROBLEM……. You have a , MARXIST LABOUR, or COMMUNIST LIBERALS, then you will continue to be shackeld with politicians who REWARD SHIRKERS” and “PENALIZE WORKERS”

Communist liberal?

Another from the crank file

David

Sadly Cameron is a globalist and as such will never give us a referendum voluntarily. Its not just prospect of Britain floating which terrifies globalists, its the possibility that we might form something better with our friends. We are told that we need to be part of a union in order to survive. Well there are countries out there with whom we share culture, history and blood. Imagine how strong a true union of Britain, Australia, Canada, and New Zealand would be; who knows maybe Scandinavia and the Netherlands would join as well. We do not need to be part of the undemocratic EU in order to build something wonderful!

Such a move would seriously wound the EU and put us smack bang in the middle of the three largest trading blocks. We have never been truly happy since our leaders abandoned our brothers in favour of the EU; we need to reestablish our historical bonds before they vanish forever.

Ye Gods!

George Osborne under pressure as Britain loses AAA rating for first time

By Jill Treanor and Rajeev Syal, The Guardian

jaylar

Never mind Osborne we can ring payday loans, they can HELP even if we have bad credit…right?

Gets…

lxy001

@jaylar – that is basically Balls and Labour economic plan.

Chortle

Ordinaryblokesays

[Couple of paragraphs of obligatory Osborne bashing before…]

If Osbourne was a racehorse he’d be in a beef lasagne by now.

MrGits

To the tune of Flash by Queen.

Credit rating blow to cost taxpayers £100bn: Humiliating downgrade may hit gilts and sterling
Holy Crap Flash Gidiot, we only have twenty four hours to save this small part of the planet from your incompetence!
Flash a-ah, Savior of the Bullingdon
Flash a-ah
He’ll screw every one of us

Flash a-ah
King of the incompetent.

Brilliant

GUARDIAN DEATH THREAT WATCH

For all the savage anger of the right-wing rags, The Guardian leads the way in death threats.

Sparro

Time to drink hemlock, osborne.
Legend has it that in hell all the towels have an annoying wrinkle that is impossible to smooth out. But you will have plenty of time to practise…….we hope you enjoy your stay.

AlexCook

Not been the greatest starts to a year for a Chancellor has it? He can’t have won the wishbone at Christmas.

Gets…

dshanah

@AlexCook – Indeed. He could have at least choked on it.

alciabides

It would be good to see Osborne shredded both personally and politically – lol

Unbelievably, some of those posts were recommended.

Bilbobaillie

If he printed AA on his forehead he would look like the hologram from red dwarf

The economy’s smegged.

Thickstp

@lillycoll – I just love the satirical comments, its almost as if you believe the bull that you post.Thanks. Is all very entertaining.Do tell, is Ed Balls like some South Korean communist dictator?

Yes, that notorious bastion of Bolsheviks, neighboured by the capitalist running dogs of North Korea.

nacom

Labour has broken this country, stripping the very fabric of our society to almost third world levels.

mary jackson

@nacom – Tories have broken this county, stripping the very fabic of our society to almost third world levels, Fixed that for you, No need to thank me,

That super-veg nori wrap I ate at Pret was clearly the product of a third-world country.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Oscar special.


The Week’s Best Posts: 4/02/2013 – 10/02/2013

Warrior Queen?

Warrior Queen?

Sometimes there are nuggets of troll-like gold amid sensible, reasonable commentary.

They don’t quite justify their own post, but boy, you want to use them.

With that in mind, we’ve eaten our fibre to compile some of the past week’s best posts that didn’t quite make through the knotty bowels of Comment is Freed.

Lunatic debate rages over The Falkland Islands, there is military ranking armpits and even a pill that can cure divorce.

Read on, o’ lonely troll.

‘No such thing as Falkland islanders’, says Argentine foreign minister

By , The Telegraph

This story, and the one immediately below, relate to Argentinian foreign minister Hector Timerman’s recent visit to the UK. During this visit, he claimed there is ‘no such thing as a Falkland islander’. Needless to say, the forums were ablaze with indignation.

Except this poster:

Stoneyjack

Do not, repeat, do not incite the ire of winsome warrior queen Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner [Argentine president]. She is bold, brilliant, beautiful…and belligerent. You have been warned.

Haha … what?

However, the majority did not seemed too cowed by the warrior queen:

RHeaton57 

Time to boycott Argie goods everybody.

beatriz

Look out of the country of origin especially in fruit.

therealpm

Do they actually make anything?

patrickbateman

Corn Beef. And Lloyd Webber wrote a lovely musical about one of their Dictators wives.

Okay, the musical was awful. If I chuck the record away can I keep the corn beef?

No.

skicarver

if I were a falkland islander, i’d be buying guns and ammo by the truck load.

And some corned beef.

swagger

As much as I love this Sceptred Isle and the plight of the Falklanders concerns me, I know I’m not alone among the DT’s male commentators in wondering what de Kirchner’s like in the sack. Probably ain’t a bad shag, as it happens.

Straight from the Alan Partridge playbook of pulling.

UK ‘disappointed’ as Argentina turns down talks over Falklands

by Julian Borger and agencies, The Guardian

SIRBOBPAISLEY

The Malvinas belong to the democratically elected sovereign state of Argentina – end of story. The ‘aliens’ who are currently decamped on the island should be forcibly repatriated to the UK if they wish to continue living under British rule. To deprive Argentina of their rightful claims to Sovereignty over the Malvinas is an insult to natural justice.

‘Forcibly repatriated’ used in a most un-Guardian like manner.

LivAalborg

The globalist Nazis pulling the strings in Holyrood are the same as the puppet masters in Argentina.

‘Globalist’ gives that extra twist of lizard people.

loutraki

[In response to an Argentinian poster supporting the islanders’ right to self-determination…]

@Nicolas2013 – Nice comment which proves my point: ordinary Argentinians are good people.

Really? They’re not all massive shits? No…

starfield 

There’s a hell of a lot of Thatcherites on this thread! Geographically, if it should be a part of any country, it is Argentina, no question about it. It’s not the right of Falklanders as they are the colonialists who are able to live there because the UK lays claim to the islands. That goes entirely against reason. I would give them back to Argentina in the blink of an eye.
Just because a country occupies land, it doesn’t make it justified that they should rule it. If you think it does, you inadvertantly support Adolf Hitler.
I fully welcome any arguments against this.

Bring it, you de-facto Nazis!

What follows are several comments questioning the historical accuracy of Starfield’s post, before…

starfield

@tokaido – Listen, I take back what I said as you’re right with saying that it didn’t actually belong to Argentina. My apologies to everyone for thinking something that was not correct.
And I’m being serious here. I admit my mistake.

Ouch! Burnt by Wikipedia.

It isn’t those who oppose gay marriage who are the bigots – it is the liberals who demonise them

BY Stephen Glover, The Mail

This week MP’s voted to bring gay marriage into law. Some people, sadly, were not cool with that:

JonnyJV, Surrey

If Tony Blair’s great SIN is the Iraq war. Then David Cameron has committed a greater SIN by force feeding this to the British public. He will never be forgiven.

Gay marriage is clearly worse than leading your country to war on back-of-a-fag-packet intelligence for one poster.

nonpc, UK

Sometimes, a nation goes so far off the moral track that it takes an Augusto Pinochet to get it back on the rails again. Now, I am not condoning some kind of militaristic retaliation. What I am saying is we need a LEADER!!! And the tepid, assinine and moribund bunch of useless politicians who think they know better, currently in Parliament, need their BACKSIDES kicking!!

Maybe nonpc has forgotten that 2279 people lost their lives under Pinochet and a further 31,947 were tortured.

Anon_Wales, Wales, United Kingdom

Liberalism and socialism – the two death knells for Britain today. The plan for the utter destruction of our country is almost complete.

The EU lizard people, in co-operation with the masonic Hungarian-afro-carribean arm of the BBC, have almost achieved their sinister end-game! Nurse, the meds!!

My chemical romance: can medicine cure divorce?

by Will Store, The Guardian

Socratesisinnocent

As ever, the reductionists miss the point, not only of the subject, but of life itself.

We humans experience life, and so to have meaning it has to be life as it is, not life as drugs can make us think and feel it is; that’s an evasion. You might as well hire a hypnotist.
Most people have seen the Matrix. Most people would, I think, choose the red pill. We instinctively understand that although reality can feel at times feel meaningless, it is the only place we may one day experience meaning.

Ah, reduct yourself.

Aside from pseudo-intellectual gobbledegook, there was raw emotion in some of the comments…

Jackanapes 

Can medicine cure divorce? I dunno. Can it cure the rage, grief, shattering disappointment, bitterness and disillusionment caused by infidelity?

Insidian

Can medicine cure divorce?
Only if they’ve discovered an antidote to Cheating Bitch.
(Perhaps the mods will know…? xxx)

You can practically feel the hatred seeping through the monitor.

Can Googling be racist? A Harvard study has found racial bias in Google searches. Yet it’s not the search engine but our own prejudice that’s to blame

by Arwa Mahdawi, The Guardian

mojogoat

Descartes didn’t quite say “Bullshitto ergo sum” either. I’m not on Google, yet I seem to exist all the same.

I call bullshitto.

neithereither

In a reversal of the common prefix ‘Im not racist but…’ This year I shall start to begin my sentences with the phrase ‘I am racist and….’

… a total tool.’

sprockethawk

This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn’t abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs.

Whatever the above post was, it must have been a sweet comment to get the following response…

@sprockethawk –
My armpit tells me that you are a colonel.

Haha. And my groin tells me you’re the duke.

Family Inc.
Saturday Essay: Run your family like a business

By BRUCE FEILER, The Wall Street Journal

Jerry Stevens Wrote:

The great thing about running your family like a business is that when money is tight, you can just lay off a couple of kids.

Yuppy’s Choice?


How much money does Tony Blair need? Tom Cruise for president, Transformers vs Pacific Rim and Tarantino unchained.

Tony Blair: Peter Mandelson is this much of a...With the Golden Globes and Oscars upon us, our roundup of some of the week’s best posts takes a decidedly movie-based theme, with Quentin Tarantino clashing with  Channel 4’s Krishnan Guru-Murthy and some pro-Iran Autobots . But first a couple of comments on a figure some say is so megalomaniacal, so devious, that James Bond craps Malteser sized pellets into his Union Jack boxers at shear thought…

[Tony Blair’s] taken millions from dictators and cosied up to warlords. As its reported ‘Teflon Tony’ is plotting an alliance with a super-rich financier, a devastating critique of the… Man who turned amorality into an art form

– Ian Birrell, The Mail

Dr. Jimmy, Nottingham, 12/1/2013 8:47

It appears that Socialism pays after all……but only forformer leaders of Socialist governments, not the masses they claimed to represent. Blair is a world-class hypocrit. He has no concience. Ian Birrell is correct to have written, “His moral blindness has no borders”

Tony Blair‘s charity: Immoralité sans frontières

johny, paris, 12/1/2013 7:56

You have to hand it to Blair. The guy has managed to command excessive fees for not doing too much. I am at the other end of the scale where demanding £2,000 a month consultancy fees to do a real job, is generally considered too much

That’s right, Johny described consulting as real work.

‘If Arnie can be Governor then I can be President’ says Tom Cruise

— DAVID USBORNE, The Independent

Lindum • 17 hours ago
Is the USA ready for a gay president?

AlterJoe Lindum • 15 hours ago
Nice.

Lindum AlterJoe • 11 hours ago

Not that I am implying that any scientologists are homosexuals. I am saying that it would be equally likely to happen.

Paul Lindum • 9 hours ago

You absolute idiot.

Paul • 9 hours ago −

Oh, someone has voted me down. Stick to the Sun little girl.

A poster’s moral authority destroyed with a poorly chosen put-down.

Pacific Rim v Transformers 4: clash of the giant robot movies

– Ben Child, The Guardian

Jingknox 11 Jan 2013

Michael Bay: he summarised his own creative style as ‘fucking the frame.’ Quite. No filmmaker has ever produced such brutalised film reals.

Gah…

FoolishEarthling 11 Jan 2013

Transformers 1 was actually very good, although I agree that the only merit in the second one was that it wipers Israel off the map, bringing peace to the Middle East […]

It’s not uranium that Iran’s been enriching, they’ve been building Ayatollah Prime

Tarantino clashes with Krishnan Guru-Murthy over Django Unchained

— Xan Brooks, The Guardian

nottaken

[…]Hwood [Hollywood] has its head firmly lodged far inside its own butt, so it should not go around giving advice about the butts of others.

God knows, but the perpetual metaphor of ‘talking shit’ continues to amaze. What does the talking rectum discuss? Does it belong to a debating society? Does it sneeze turds?

imlistening 12 Jan 2013

[Discussing the relationship between reality and movie violence]

By this logic then any incident with a samurai sword is down to Kill Bill. Or would we blame Seven Samurai?

RobertB 12 Jan 2013

Well, if the woman wielding the Katana (Samurai sword) puts one of her protagonists over her knee and spanks him with it, and states that she never got the idea from the Tarantino wankfest. Then you can blame Seven Samurai…


Vladimir Franz: Czech Presidential candidate, tattoo devotee and Morph lookalike.

Vladimir Franz: Suave and Tattooed Not Vladimir Franz

Vladimir Franz, a professor at Prague’s Academy of Performing Arts, is in the running to be president of the Czech Republic. Now Franz stands out a bit as he’s covered head to toe in tattoos, unlike other fuddy-duddy politicians.

And while most of the comments on this story were along the lines of ‘don’t judge a book by its cover,’ there were a couple of nuggets of troll-like gold out on the forums.

Vladimir Franz: tattooed composer polling strongly in the Czech elections

— Guardian (via AP)

JonathanCR 09 January 2013 

For some reason I’m reminded of when, as a child, I attempted to make my own Morph by rolling all the different colours of plasticine together and fashioning them into a vaguely human form.

Vladimir Franz’s tattoos inspires one Guardian reader to reminisce over their childhood.

CannyRogue 09 January 2013

And, perhaps surprisingly, few take issue with his tattoos.
Unlike many people here at the Guardian. Could you please explain, editors, why you felt the need to report at length on this? Let me guess – to get the anti-tattoo posse to post 1,000 comments to prove how popular your paper is to advertisers.

Passive-aggressive comments asking editors to explain themselves: scourge of the Guardian forums and enemy of the anti-tattoo posse.

Altarboy 09 January 2013 

@NickClegg
Ink yourself up like this and you may find yourself back in the game.

Gah… If only my Photoshop skills were better.

Poit 09 January 2013 2:53 PM

All politicians should tattoo their faces according to character. For example Cameron’s should be the face of a goblin king, Osborne’s that of an Igor-like minion, and Clegg’s should have been Doctor Jekyll before the election, to be redone as Mr Hyde the moment the poll results came in.

And I think Ed Miliband should be Cathy from Wuthering Heights.

Saltycdogg 09 January 2013 11:35 PM

If Earth manages to get a seat at the Galactic Senate we’ll need more people who looks like this to represent us if we’re not to look too boring as a planet.

The last thing I saw featuring a Galactic Senate droned on about taxes for several hours, before a woman in her late teens hit on an eight-year-old boy.

PlayUpBarnstoneworth 09 January 2013 2:23 PM

“no political experience and confesses to little knowledge of economics”.

Seems like he’s already setting an example to the UK’s vainglorious toff overlords.

Who are overseen by the Galactic Senate. It’s time our ‘vainglorious overlords’ renegotiated Earth’s relationship with the Galactic Senate and repatriated our powers!

Totally tattooed professor nicknamed Avatar is now THIRD in race to be Czech president

— Sara Malm, The Mail

Felicity Fortune, MerryoldEnglandshire, 9/1/2013 17:23

His choice to cover himself in tattoos is of no relevance to his ability to lead. Looking like a traditional politician is no indication of honesty or ability to lead. At least this chap is intelligent, I’d take that as a good start, considering our opposition is led by Beaker from the Muppets.

AKA Labour Leader Ed Milliband

Louis , London, 09/1/2013 22:36

His got a pair of bo@@cks on his chin!

@@s makes your post look it has bollocks.

– bostonrepubguy,

At least he can probably prove where he was born.

Let it go.

Lizard, Florence, 9/1/2013 16:53

Satan is alive and well … and driving the world deeper into madness by the day.

That’s one way to describe the democratic process.

Vladimir Franz, Heavily Tattooed Presidential Candidate, Lights Up Czech Election

— Karel Janicek, Huffington Post (via AP)

Applejacks971

[In response to a comment in the article regarding Vladimir Franz’s appeal to a young audience who cannot vote.]

Their in high school, many probably don’t have jobs, and still living with mom and dad. What do you mean ‘no longer identify to existing parties’??? Kids have NO clue what’s going on in life or the world. They don’t have any experience in life or the job market yet to know what’s going on in the world or to be able to have a just opinion about it. Until you’re a legal adult, your ‘opinion’ doesn’t count. This is why you can’t vote until your a certain age, point proven

Yeah, kids. Why don’t you f-off while us grown-ups spend hours sharing our well thought out and rationale ‘opinions’ on internet forums?!!


Piers Morgan argues with leading pacifist Alex Jones on CNN

Piers Morgan might want to reconsider who he invites on his CNN talk show following the tirade he received from last night’s guest, radio-show host Alex Jones.

The Texan shock-jock delivered a one-sided rant  speech encompassing everything from ‘suicide-murder pills’ to gun control, through to a surreal impersonation of ‘red coat’ Morgan’s accent, before warning the erstwhile Britain’s Got Talent presenter against ‘trying what your ancestors did before’.

Surely mana for trolls on both sides of the debate?

Deport Piers Morgan founder rants in face of his nemesis

The Guardian

swindonabroad 08 January 2013 4:50 AM

I just went to Google images to see who Alex Jones was.
When you just search with the term ‘Alex Jones’ you get many images of a dark haired lady.

I altered my search term to ‘Alex Jones wanker’.

Found him

Googling ‘Swindon wanker’ gets you: ‘Swindon Wankers: A place for local swindon straight and bi guys to meet and wank together’.

cazzo0 8 January 2013 5:57 AM

Isn’t this the pot lambasting the colour of the kettle? In the US, you get Alex Jones and the gun lobby. In Britain you get The Daily Mail and Melanie Phillips, The Sun and The Daily Express. And fifty million people watch East Enders, Coronation Street, Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor. Clearly there is often a shortage of brain material on both sides of the Atlantic.

The parallels are obvious: Sitting in the Queen Vic, Peggy Mitchell and Dot Cotton plot the overthrow of the liberal bourgeois, while Phil Mitchell sups pints of malty revolution.

View Alex Jones’ full rant at Morgan

Piers Morgan, radio host who wants him deported face off

— Staff, CNN

Guest to dynamo61 • 7 hours ago

Willful ignorance is one of the biggest threats to democracy. To suggest that a potential schizophrenic such as Alex Jones provides any type of “real” or “truthful” information is beyond appalling.

Jason Martin to Guest

F. U. I am a real adult. If by any chance you are a real psycologist you can’not diagnose Mr. Jones based on a TV interview.

Easy Pinocchio.

Pro-Gun Advocate Alex Jones Goes Completely Berserk On Piers Morgan’s Show: ‘1776 Will Commence Again!’

— Brett LoGiurato, Business Insider

REdiculous on Jan 7, 10:01 PM said:

Liberals are a bunch of yssup’s!!!

Liberals wear white briefs underwear.

Do conservatives wear these then?

WOW on Jan 7, 10:43 PM said:

Wow. The paranoia is at an all time high.

…..suicide mass murder pills…..

WOW, YOU GUYS ARE NUTS.

Prisonplanet.com on Jan 7, 10:47 PM said:

@WOW: Not nuts, just awake… You are asleep… they TELL you that their pills DO that to you in the freakin COMMERCIAL! Yet you zombies all go to big Pharma and get your meds!

I remember those commercials…

Husband: Jeez, this cold. Honey, I don’t think I’m going to make it into work today.
Wife: Oh dear. Here sugar, take one of these ‘suicide-mass-murder pills’. You’ll feel right as rain.

Armed Mafia Stalk Alex Jones Post Piers Morgan Debate: Video Report

Infowars.com

Anonymous says: January 8, 2013 at 1:49 am

Good Job!!! You looked like a really pissed off sheepdog protecting the flock.

Classic BBC show One Man and his Dog becomes One Man and his Conservative.

Arm Yourself says: January 8, 2013 at 3:06 am

LOL..GO BACK TO WHERE THEY TOOK THE GUNS IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT!!…LOLOL

SERIOUSLY! YOU MAY NOT GET SHOT IN ENGLAND,BUT A KNIFE IN YOUR ASS BECAUSE YOU CANNOT DEFEND YOURSEF IS HIGHLY LIKELY!!

Daily occurrence. I wear special underwear to protect my ‘ass’ whenever I leave the house.

dznutz says: January 8, 2013 at 2:13 am

GREAT JOB ALEX!!!!! GETTING KNEE DEEP IN THAT RED COATS ASS!!! I can understand how pissed off you were today after all the hell at the airport. All I can say is that I’m right behind you and stand firm for our rights!

Up to your knees in Piers Morgan’s ass? Awful mental image.

Anonymous says: January 8, 2013 at 2:48 am

LEX CALLS THEM “FACTOIDS.” PIERS REPEATS A STATISTIC, WITHOUT ARTICULATING THE MEANINGFUL CONNECTION TO THE ISSUE AT HAND, AND ACTS AS IF HE HAS SAID SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. BUT HE HAS ONLY SAID SOMETHING THAT MEANS SOMETHING IN THE BAREST LINGUISTIC SENSE, AGAIN, BECAUSE NO MEANINGFUL CONNECTION TO THE ISSUE IS ARTICULATED. PIERS PASSES OFF A MEANING WITH NO MEANINGFUL CONNECTION, THAT IS, SOMETHING MEANING-LESS, AS MEANINGFUL. HE KNOWS THAT ONE CONCEIVES WHAT IS MEANINGFUL ONLY WITH DIFFICULTY, SUCH THAT HE WHO IS INCAPABLE OF CONCEIVING IT WITHOUT INTELLECTUAL ASSISTANCE MIGHT TAKE THE MEANING-LESS FOR THE MEANINGFUL. HE KNOWS THAT MANY PEOPLE CAN CONCEIVE MEANING ONLY IN THE MOST RUDIMENTARY LINGUISTIC SENSE, AND THUS WON’T BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH THE TRULY MEANINGFUL FROM THE MEANING-LESS. PIERS KNOWS ALL HE NEEDS TO DO IS EMPLOY HIS MEANING-LESS-NESS AND HE IS SURE TO INFLUENCE THE UNTRAINED MIND. HE PRACTICES HIS INSIDIOUS INFLUENCE ON MINDS THAT, UNABLE CONCEIVE THE MEANINGFUL ON THEIR OWN, SLEEP. THIS IS WHERE ALEX COMES IN. ALEX KNOWS THAT PIERS’ SPEECH IS MEANING-LESS, KNOWS THAT IT IS JUST A KIND OF ANIMAL NOISE MADE TO DISRUPT MEANINGFUL DISCOURSE. HIS INTELLECTUAL INSTINCT WON’T ALLOW HIM TO IGNORE THE DISRUPTION OF TRUE DISCOURSE BY ANIMAL NOISE, SO HE RESPONDS WITH HUMAN NOISE. HUMAN NOISE IS WHAT IS MADE BY A MAN WHO MEANS WHAT HE SAYS. HE MEANS WHAT HE SAYS IN BEING THE MEANINGFUL CONNECTION, TO THE ISSUE AT HAND, OF HIS MEANINGS UNDERSTOOD IN THE BAREST LINGUISTIC SENSE, THE MEANINGFUL CONNECTION OF WHAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE JUST ANIMAL NOISES. TO BE THIS MEANINGFUL CONNECTION IS TO DO MORE THAN RESPOND RATIONALLY AND CONVINCINGLY TO A SPECIOUS ARGUMENT, TO DO MORE THAN “MAKE PERFECT SENSE,” AS BOTH LARRY PRATT, JESSE VENTURA, AND OTHERS HAVE DONE WITH PIERS. IT IS TO BECOME A MEANINGFUL IMAGE, THE VISIBLE EMBODIMENT OF THE TRUTH, AND THUS TO ROUSE THE UNTRAINED MIND FROM ITS MEANING-LESS DREAM WITH MEANINGFUL OPTICAL STIMULATION.

If you stare at this post for long enough, it becomes hypnotic. As for Piers Morgan’s ‘animal noise’, did you not see the video?


Can David Cameron cling on until 2020?

Well, at least I'm not Iain Duncan SmithToday the UK woke up to news David Cameron plans to stay on as the British prime minister until 2020.

Can ‘call me Dave’ Dave ride another Murdoch nag until squeezing out his ‘enormous agenda’? Will George Osbourne call time on the tax-haven that is 4-for-1 sausage rolls down Greggs? And is Nick Clegg now lonelier than a Christmas jumper in the January sale?

More impotently than all that, what is the measured reaction in the comment sections of our leading rags?

‘I will be the one, and the Conservatives will be the party, offering genuine change… Do you want to hand the keys back to the people who crashed the car?’
— Matthew d’Ancona, The Telegraph | Full article

tokyonagaremono

Deluded fat-faced chuntering twit.

Choose UKIP. Ditch the EU, end immigration, you know it makes sense.

Not a fan, then?

robbinghood Today 06:03 AM

… Just like that other belly crawling reptile, Blair, he’ll be calling in the favours from the banks and the foreign politicos…

[Post continues in this manner until…]

You’re so oily, D’Ancona, one can almost feel the grease coming up through the keyboard. And that’s a major part of he problem. Dozy Dave Cameron spends far too much time listening to heads-up-their-arse sycophants like you.

Bit personal.

bigalan1 Today 03:53 AM

Sorry I think there is a miss print should it say 2015, but I don’t know if he will even make it ? unless he change’s, (1 Leave the EU (2 Stop giving aid to countries that are using the money for their space programme ,and for also buying new cars , and putting the money into there own pockets, (3 stop the immigrants coming in (4 Over turn all the rule’s and regulations that have been imposed on us by the EU (5 get rid of the backing for gay marriage (6 kick out of this country those immigrants that should not be here (7 get rid of Glegg, what a waste if time that man his, does he engage his brain before opening his mouth ? (8 don’t do a Thatcher ( this women is not for turning ) if it aint working, like the EU CHANGE IT.

Who’s Glegg?

JustAboutSurviving Today 04:44 AM

Its YOU that’s crashing the car Dave.

David Cameron wants to be in Downing Street until 2020 to push through ‘enormous reform agenda’
— James Rush, The Mail | Full article

Fran

Cameron is worse than Tony Blair “he who speaks with two tongues”! If this egoist and his side kick Clegg gets in again we are all doomed! I would rather take my chances in the Congo!!

You really wouldn’t.

voiceofthepeople

Never trust a man , with thin lips , my grannie used to say, How true nan . Rip

Have you checked for the number of the beast?

Do you want Cameron to remain PM until 2020?
— CIF, The Guardian | Full article

timthemonkey 06 January 2013 12:03 PM

No, and given his performance I have no reason to believe he will be. Calling him a heartless, incompetent clownshoe is an insult to humourous footwear

Huh?

Forthestate 06 January 2013 11:15 AM

David Cameron says he wants to serve as prime minister for at least another seven years, overseeing radical reforms

He’d better watch himself. Expressing a desire like that can very easily get you branded a dictator by newspapers like the Guardian.

HeilCameron 06 January 2013 11:31 AM

That’s exactly what he is. A little dictator. If truth be known he probably wants a thousand year Reich.

David Cameron Wants To Stay As PM Until 2020, But Poll Says He’ll Be Out In 2015
— Ned Simons, Huffington Post Full article

lovewizard44

Hell is changing it’s location it will be right here in the u.k if conservatives stay in power so make sure we vote them out at the next election!

I didn’t know satan was from Berkshire.